Spoof news stories from May 2012
There were 679 spoof news stories published in May 2012. A selection of the most popular stories is shown here. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get news stories from a day in this month.
A List of 10 Little Known Facts About David Letterman
David Letterman has stated that the greatest late night talk show host of all time was Johnny Carson. He pointed out that Johnny is without a doubt the best even though Jay "The Chinmaster" Leno thinks that he is.
David has gone on record as saying that Leno and him both learned 90 percent of what they know about being late night TV talk show hosts from the great Johnny Carson.
He then adde...
The List of Ten Little Known Facts About Taylor Swift
The 22-year-old country singer Taylor Alison Swift was born in Reading, Pennsylvania and oddly enough she has said that in school her favorite subject was reading.
Over the years there has been widespread speculation as to who Taylor Swift was named after. Some news publications and agencies have stated that she was named after Elizabeth Taylor.
Others have said that she was named after come...
One Direction lined up for the 2013 Eurovision song contest
Reality Show Pop Stars, One Direction, have been lined up to represent the UK in the 2013 Eurovision Song Contest.
"We had to act fast," said Sebastian Coe, who has been appointed to make sure that Britain win in 2013 after several years of abject...
Justin Bieber and Girlfriend Selena Gomez Announce Plans To Build A 40 Ride Amusement Theme Park
TARZANA - Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez recently spoke with Fuchsia Garfunkel a reporter with The Cucamonga Chit Chat Chronicle.
The very happy couple announced plans for a brand new amusement theme park that they have been talking about since la...
Mitt Romney Gets Outsmarted By A Blue-Haired 98-Year-Old Woman In A Walker
MILWAUKEE - GOP presidential front runner Mitt Romney was in Milwaukee speaking at a meeting of The Hops and Malt Adders at the Old Milwaukee Brewery.
Romney told the crowd that when he is elected president he will see to it that more beer breweri...
Olympics Scaled Down to Face Debt Crisis Realities
London - The 2012 Olympic Games may be weeks away, but they are already feeling the effects of the European debt crisis.
A long list of austerity measures is being implemented to help the international competition survive in an atmosphere of econ...
John Travolta Insists That He Is Not Gay As Three More Individuals Allege That They Were Groped By The Actor
VENICE BEACH - Noted California attorney Ginger Allred, cousin of famed attorney Gloria Allred, has just stated that three more men have stepped forward and are alleging that actor-pilot John Travolta groped them.
Ginger Allred, spoke with Fajita...
"The Avengers" Opens To A $200 Million Weekend Take To Break The All-Time Record - Scarlett Johansson Talks About Some of The Film's Goofs
HOLLYWOOD - The Avengers opened at movie theaters and scored extremely big at the box office breaking the all-time weekend take at over $200 million.
The Marvel superhero movie literally left every other movie at the starting gate.
One of the f...
Boxing Champ Manny Pacquiao's Anti-Gay Marriage Remarks Result In His Getting Banned From Disneyland
LOS ANGELES - Manny "Pac-Man" Pacquiao, who has held boxing titles in eight different boxing weight divisions has just stuck his gloved hand in his mouth.
Pacquiao, a 33-year-old Filipino, in an interview with Tango Brisket of Sports Territory Mag...
JP Morgan begging
NEW YORK - JP Morgan issued a press release at a press conference today stating that they had to stop buying anything. This has nothing to do with the fact that they lost billions of dollars, the exact amount unknown.
CEO, JD, stated that the rea...
The List of 10 Reasons Why Congressman Ron Paul Says America Should Elect Him To Be The Next President
Congressman Ron Paul of Texas was recently asked how he felt running in the GOP presidential race for the highest office in the land.
The spry 76-year-old smiled and remarked that he felt as happy as a woodpecker in a Popsicle stick factory.
The veteran politician from Texas is no stranger to the harsh world of political mudslinging.
Earlier this year when Michele Bachmann stated that he...
Lamar Odom Reveals That His Marriage To Khloe Kardashian Has Become A High-Wire Balancing Act With No Net
WEST HOLLYWOOD - Lamar Odom and his wife Khloe Kardashian-Odom are back in LaLaLand and the two could not be happier.
Lamar after being traded from the Los Angeles Lakers to the Dallas Mavericks failed to fit in with Mark Cuban's team. And Khloe w...
Charlie "The Space Cadet" Sheen Plunks Down $230,000 For Lawrence Taylor's Super Bowl Ring
SHERMAN OAKS, California - Charlie Sheen sat in his Mulholland Estate Mansion Casa Jose Cuervo smoking an imported 10-inch Cuban cigar and taking sips from a bottle of tequila that he named his Sherman Oaks mansion after.
Sheen, who is known as "T...
Mitt Romney Says If He's Elected President He Will Invade North Korea
KEYSTONE, South Dakota - Willard Mitt Romney stood in front of Mount Rushmore in the Black Hills of South Dakota talking to a crowd estimated to be between 180 and 192 people.
He told the people that he wants their vote so that he can move from hi...
Ashton Kutcher Shoots Down The Rumor That He And Ex-Wife Demi Moore's Daughter Rumer Willis Are An Item
CABO SAN LUCAS, Mexico - Ashton Kutcher, who is no stranger to the Tinsel Town "Rumor Mill," decided to get away from the hustle and bustle of "El Lay" and traveled down to Cabo San Lucas, which is regarded by many of Hollywood's elite as the French...
Rooney throws left hook at Phil Jones; United's only shot on target Monday evening!
Exclusive news has just seeped out of the very hot and steamy Man United dressing room after Monday's toothless performance against mayor rivals Man City.
There was a definite "punch up" between trained boxer and United super-Scouse, Wayne Rooney,...
Coming Soon! The Girl's Bikini Hockey League
TULSA - First it was Women's Beach Volleyball and then came The Lingerie Football League.
And now thanks to sports mogul Carson "Dollar $ign$" Esterelli, the American males will soon be gazing upon gorgeous women in The Girl's Bikini Hockey League...
Rihanna Desperate For Money Puts Her Caribbean Island, St. Songstress, On The Market For $8.3 Million
BROOKLYN - Rihanna was in Brooklyn visiting her cousin Agrafina Fannyfitz, 22, who had just had a baby girl.
The baby named Rapunzelina Fannyfitz is being regarded as one of the biggest babies to ever be born in Brooklyn.
Dr. Offenhauser F. Qui...
Teddy Sheringham: "Ramsay made a meal of it!"
Teddy Sheringham has been explaining what was behind his 'tasty' foul on Gordon Ramsay during the recent Soccer Aid match that put the chef in hospital. It seems to have been the final course in a culinary food feud that goes back years.
"I'm n...
Heidi Montag To Star As Patricia Krentcil In The Horror Movie "The Attack of The Tanorexic Woman"
HOLLYWOOD - Cinema Castle Pictures will soon begin production on the Sheboygan Saddlewood film based on the New Jersey "Tanning Woman" Patricia Krentcil.
Saddlewood noted that Heidi Montag has been signed to portray Krentcil who is considered to b...
Tony 'London Whale' Blair blamed for JP Morgan $2bn trading losses
London - The daft old tosspot is the US bank's top gambling tipster advising on a range of international whorseracing punts.
This weekend he's being fingered by his rum 'Captain' Morgan bosses for the biggest trading losses in the bank's entire hy...
Nuclear Bomb Detonates Over Farmville
New York, NY-- A 100-megaton hydrogen bomb exploded over Farmville today, completely vaporizing the Facebook game. The bomb incinerated all the virtual farms, cows, pigs and bug-eyed Farmville neighbors. A giant mushroom cloud could be seen floatin...
Nadya Suleman AKA "OctoMom" Files For Bankruptcy - Plans To Appear In A Porn Movie
LA HABRA, California - Nadya Suleman has stated that she is $1 million in debt and that her house is in foreclosure as she owes $30,000 back rent.
"OctoMom" added that she has gone ahead and filed for bankruptcy under California's Chapter 7.
She recently sat down at her home in La Habra and spoke with Tapioca Swizzle of Tittle Tattle Tonight. Suleman revealed that she has decided to do somet...
Rumors of A Kobe Bryant - Elin Nordegren Sex Tape Surface
LOS ANGELES - Tiger Woods ex-wife Elin Nordegren was reportedly spotted at The Santa Monica Pier wearing a Los Angeles Lakers shirt and a pair of fuchsia colored shorts shorts and according to several tourists Elin never looked prettier, sexier, or r...
George Clooney Confesses To President Obama That Girlfriend Stacy Keibler Could Very Well Be The "One"
WASHINGTON, D.C. - George Clooney was in the nation's capital where he was meeting with President Obama regarding a big celebrity fundraiser that is being planned for LaLaLand.
Clooney was given a personal tour of the White House by the president.
At Charlotte Speedway Cars Drive Fast in Circles
The Coca Cola 600 was under way this week with many automobiles--this reporter counted at least seven of them--driving at high speeds along a circular track.
For some reason a crowd of spectators gathered to watch the cars traveling in circles.
The List of Ten Rejected Automobile Names For 2013
Cordell "Carburetor" Fitzwalter is the chief senior executive writer for Showroom Floor Illustrated Semi-Monthly Magazine.
The Michigan native has just spent two months traveling throughout the United States and visiting countless automobile corporate industry offices.
Fitzwalter has conducted dozens of interviews with corporate CEO's, presidents, and directors of inter-corporate departments...
Zac Efron and Michelle Pfeiffer To Star In The Erotic Vampire Epic "May-December Hickies"
HOLLYWOOD - Lions Door Films in association with Cloud 13 Pictures has just announced a new vampire movie which will star Zac Efron and Michelle Pfeiffer.
The movie May-December Hickies is to be directed by noted film director Charleen Belle-Pinnz...
JP Morgan off a few bits on 2 billion Dollar loss
NEW YORK - A computer glitch has been fixed in a JP Morgan computer that clears up the supposed 2 billion Dollar loss. According to computer repair man, Jedeth Shuckerson, the issue was just a few bits wrong.
"Actually, there were just a few bits...
The Miami Heat's LeBron James Wins The MVP Trophy - Says He Will Place It In The Akron, Ohio Burger Gal Where He Worked
MIAMI - LeBron James of the Miami Heat has just won his third Most Valuable Player trophy. He was presented the trophy for averaging 27.1 points per game as well as for being one of the most unstoppable players in the NBA.
The 27-year-old who grew...
Kate Gosselin Is Upset At Reports That Boyfriend Russell Brand Misses Ex-Wife Katy Perry
WATERLOO, Iowa - Kate Gosselin was in Waterloo on a book signing tour promoting her latest book My Hell On Dancing With The Stars and How It Made A Better Woman, Mother, and Lover Out Of Me [Full Court Press - $19.98].
Gosselin, 37, was asked abou...
The Donald Trump - Wolf Blitzer Feud Hits The Fan
NEW YORK CITY - An article which appeared in Yippee-Ki-Yay Magazine states that Donald Trump is having trouble finding celebrities to appear in the next season of his show Celebrity Apprentice.
Grilletta Brewburger with YKY revealed that Trump has...
Mitt Romney Said To Be Seriously Considering Hank Williams Jr. As His Choice For GOP Running Mate
DETROIT - Mitt Romney recently spoke before a crowd estimated at around 523 in Detroit's Carburetor Coliseum.
Afterwards he sat down with Mistletoe Bulova of The Political Drive Thru Window. She asked Romney if he had heard from fellow Republican...
2012 Elections Canceled; Voting To Be Replaced By 'Indirect Democracy'
Washington DC - Federal officials today canceled the 2012 elections, declaring that American voters are not qualified to select the nation's political leaders.
"Everyone blames the gridlock in Washington on the politicians," said Norman Lagode...
The Indianapolis 500 Will Become The Indianapolis 100 In 2013, In Order To Cut Down Fuel Consumption By 80%
INDIANAPOLIS - The Indianapolis 500 Auto Race governing body known as The Indianapolis Motor Speedway Federation Coalition has just issued a compulsory directive.
Gulliver "Green Flag" Greenhauser executive director of The IMSFC stated to the news...
Rob Pattinson and Kristen Stewart To Star In "Moonlight - The Very Last Shark Attack Movie Ever, Promise"
HOLLYWOOD - Well summertime is right around the corner and that can only mean one thing. Get ready for the onslaught of shark attack motion pictures.
According to the Motion Picture Coalition Commission each summer Hollywood movie studios release...
Simon Cowell Has Finally Made His Decision and He Has Picked Demi Lovato To Replace Nicole Scherzinger On X-Factor
HOLLYWOOD - After months of speculation as to who X-Factor mogul Simon "The Sultan of Sarcasm" Cowell was going to name as the new judge he has finally revealed that it will be teen singing sensation Demi Lovato.
Cowell stated that Demi will be jo...
Dancing With The Stars' Derek Hough And Welsh Singer Katherine Jenkins Spotted Walking Hand-In-Hand On The Santa Monica Pier
HOLLYWOOD - Season 14 of Dancing With The Stars was won by Green Bay Packer wide receiver Donald Driver and his partner the gorgeously attractive blonde bombshell from Australia Peta Murgatroyd.
Tahiti Zeppelin with Hollywood Hors D'oeuvres stated...
Madonna Spotted Having Dinner with New Toy Boy Lover, Dictator Kim Jong-Un in Pyongyang - Fox News Calls Her Traitor
Despite nearing 54, Madonna shows no sign of tiring of her toy boy fixation. Pictures have merged of Madonna enjoying a late night dinner with Kim Jon Un, the 29 year old chubby leader of North Korea, in the capital. According to celebrity gossip si...
Miami Heat Player Dwyane Wade Receives A $20,000 Fine For Wearing Shocking Pink Pants To The Post Game Media Room Interview
INDIANAPOLIS - NBA Commissioner David Stern has stated that NBA players are going to learn to show up to post game media room interviews dressed respectably or else they will be hit hard in the pocketbook.
The latest professional basketball player...
Gordon Ramsay Star of The Reality Show "Hell's Kitchen" Injured During A Charity Soccer Match In Manchester, England
MANCHESTER, England - Chef Gordon Ramsay, host of the reality show Hell's Kitchen, is probably one of the most hated individuals on American television.
The arrogantly sarcastic-as-hell star of the reality cooking show, participated in a charity s...
Lady Gaga Opens Up About Her Recent Wardrobe Malfunction
LOS ANGELES - Lady Gaga performed before a sell-out crowd at The San Andreas Fault Coliseum where she received two standing ovations.
The woman of many elaborate outfits and flamboyant costumes was interviewed backstage by Hollywood Innuendo repor...
After 8 Years "Desperate Housewives" Rides Off Into The Land of $yndication
HOLLYWOOD - After an eight year run which included 183 episodes, Wisteria Lane has been closed for some much needed repairs.
Desperate Housewives, the creation of Marc "Roly Poly" Cherry has left the 'Soap Opera Building' and will now head into sy...
The Lingerie Football League To Hang Up Their Short Shorts Until 2013
CHICAGO - Word out of the "Windy City" is that The Lingerie Football League has suspended the 2012 season but plans on returning at full speed in April of 2013.
LFL spokesperson Duval Dippingwater, 43, stated that the team owners felt that they wa...
Vacation With Mitt Romney's Offshore Bank Accounts
The Mitt Romney Presidential Campaign decided to create a travel agency called, No Apologies, (a new Bain Capital investment) giving vacationers the rare opportunity to visit the seven offshore banks throughout the world holding the Romney family inv...
Dancing With The Stars' "Giggle Girl" Maria Menounos Is Eliminated
HOLLYWOOD - Well there will be a whole lot less giggling on the set of Dancing With The Stars as Maria "Giggle Girl" Menounos has been the latest celebrity to be sent home.
The 33-year-old is the co-host with Mario Lopez of the television news pro...
The NBA Fines Boston Celtic Rajon Rondo For Wearing The Ugliest Jacket In The History of Jackets
ATLANTA - The Boston Celtics lost game five of their playoff series with the Atlanta Hawks 87-86 on a Rajon Rondo turnover.
After the game "Double R" was waiting in a hallway to attend the mandatory, post-game, media room interview.
Rondo mingl...
Charles Barkley Reportedly Admits He'd Like To Go Out With Patricia Krentcil, Alias "Tanorexic Woman"
NEW YORK CITY - TNT sports announcer Charles Barkley, who is known as "The Round Mound of Rebound," was spotted at New York's The Plastered Platypus Lounge.
Sir Charles, as he prefers to be called, was sitting with an unidentified male friend who...
Washington Nationals Rookie Bryce "Batman" Harper Angrily Hits Himself With His Own Bat - Gets 10 Stitches
CINCINNATI - It appears by all accounts that Washington Nationals rookie baseball player Bryce Harper is 19 going on 9.
The Nationals rookie after going 0 for 5 went into the team dugout and angrily slammed his bat against the dugout wall. The bat...
Jessica Simpson Finally Has Her Baby - And It's A Big One!
LOS ANGELES - Well it appears that Jessica Simpson may have broken the record for being pregnant for the longest time.
She finally 'popped' out her little baby which is actually one heck of a whopper at 9 pounds 13 ounces on May 1, 2012.
One of...
Johnny Depp Says He Had So Much Fun Filming "Dark Shadows" With Michelle Pfeiffer That He Almost Gave Back His Entire Salary
HOLLYWOOD - Johnny Depp has appeared in a total of 35 movies including Fear, Loathing, and Losing In Las Vegas, Twice Upon A Time In Mexico, Edward Scissorhands and the sequel Edward Plierfeet.
The native of Kentucky stated on The View that if he...
Rush Limbaugh Demands To See "The Breastfeeding Mama" Son's Birth Certificate
NEW YORK CITY - Rush Limbaugh stated that just when you think you have seen it all here comes Time Magazine with a cover showing a 26-year-old woman openly breastfeeding her little 3-year-old boy who looks like he could be closer to 7.
Limbaugh no...
Sheriff Joe "Pinky" Arpaio Blames The Arizona Wildfires on President Obama And The Democrats
CROWN KING, Arizona - It is just about summertime and that means two things; hurricanes and wildfires.
Arizona has not been hit with a hurricane since 1967, when Hurricane Mazola slammed into Tombstone knocking down power lines, saguaro cactuses,...
The North American Hurricane Center In An Effort To Be More Citizen Friendly Will Be Using Generic Hurricane Names Such As Hurricane Bud
MIAMI - The North American Hurricane Center has just informed the American public that it has made a revision to the names it will issue for hurricanes.
North American Hurricane Center Executive Director Fittipaldi Fiddlefire, 47, stated that due...
Facebook Users Offered Membership Fee Or "Pay As You Go Posting"
Facebook has announced that users will be offered two choices when the highly popular social network site begins charging users next month.
As previously announced Facebook will no longer be free to use come the 1st of June and for months Facebook...
Jennifer "The Cougar" Lopez' "Boy-Toy" Caspar Smart Admits That J.Lo Gives Him a Weekly Allowance of $10,000
NEW YORK CITY - Jennifer Lopez is perhaps one of America's most famous "Cougars."
And up until recently the 42-year-old American Idol judge actually shared that title with Demi "The Cougar" Moore, who has since filed for divorce from her "Boy-Toy"...
Maksim Chmerkovskiy, Derek Hough, and Mark Ballas Say Either Dancing With The Stars Fires Len "The Grouchy Grouch" Goodman Or They'll Quit
HOLLYWOOD - Last year professional dancer Maksim Chmerkovskiy exploded 'on-the-air' at English judge Len Goodman during one of the Dancing With The Stars live shows.
Chmerkovskiy, who is known as "The Bad Boy of The Ballroom" became extremely upse...
Ed Sheeran caught busking
Ed Sheeran may be the gingerist acoustic guitar player on the planet, but he likes to stay grounded in reality. He admitted earlier in the week that he frequently goes back to his busking roots and stands outside shops in town centres singing a varie...
Christina Aguilera To Appear In A New Cooking Show Called "Makin' Muffins"
LOS ANGELES - Christina Aguilera, one of the stars of The Voice, has just been signed to star in her very own television show.
A spokesperson for The Nourishment Network Griffin "Calories" Calaretti confirmed that Ms. Aguilera will he hosting the...
American Idol: Joshua Ledet Shockingly Eliminated, Jessica Sanchez and Phillip Phillips Make It To The Finals
HOLLYWOOD - American Idol judge Steven Tyler said about Joshua Ledet that no male or female singer in the eleven year history of American Idol has ever sung better than the man from Westlake, Louisiana.
But it appears that the singer nicknamed "Eb...
Lady Gaga challenges Britney Spears
Lady Gaga addressed a crowd of her devoted fans and said she was better than Britney Spears because she was six years younger and Spears looks like an old lady.
During a concert Britney Spears retaliated against Gaga by saying that Gaga is not Eur...
Pie-in-the-BSkyB, Chapter 2, as Blair stages Leveson Inquiry heckler
London - The Grand Master of empathy management played a blinder today with a personal take on Rupert Murdoch's custard pie-in-the-BSkyB moment at the House of Commons last year.
Speaking in hoarse Don Corleone-esque tones the ex-Prime Monster was...
Website to publish pix showing Kate Middleton 'is Justin Bieber's birth mother'
Los Angeles - "She wears some of his milk teeth in a locket around her neck," a celebwatch site editor claimed today, "and has kept the C-section placenta in a Canadian hospital vault."
This weekend a lengthy cover-up lies in tatters as LA FagHagS...
Selena Gomez in shock as Charles names Kate Middleton 'Justin Bieber's birth mother'
Toronto, Canada - A chance remark by Prince Charles to Canadian riff raff on his Jubilee Tour this afternoon has backfired horribly.
On a VIP Toronto walkabout he told Ontario Premier Dalton McGuinty that he hoped doe-eyed Disney Channel beauty S...
Angelina Jolie Continues To Buy Brad Pitt's Love By Buying Him A $1.6 Million Helicopter
PROVENCE, France - Close friends of Angelina Jolie have remarked that as the actress has gotten older she has also become a lot more insecure.
Bedroom Pillow Talk reported that one of Jolie's very close friends Winnie Suzy Willowick, 37, recently...
Animal Rights Activists Announce Cinco de Mayo Anti-Bullfighting Protest In Cabo San Lucas, Mexico
LOS ANGELES - The California chapter of POOPA, People for the Overbearing and Obnoxious pushing of Pampering Animals, has announced that they will be traveling down to Cabo San Lucas, Mexico on Cinco de Mayo (May 5) to protest the centuries old pract...
NASA Rover on Way to Mars; Martians See Big Payday
The name of the Rover is Curiosity. It should arrive on Mars in about three months, and it's designed to do scientific research and take photos.
"In their dreams," said a Martian yesterday, scratching his pointy little head as he t...
Rolling Stone's son Lucas Jagger to co-write first song with Paris Jackson
Los Angeles - A collaboration between two famous rock stars' children is the brainchild of Colombian singer-songwriter Shakira who spotted the pair's talent following a tip from international tennis ace Rafael Nadal.
The Grand Slam champ apparentl...
Man United Fan blames QPR's Joey Barton as Man City win the Premier League
Local man Maurice Sheringham today slammed former Manchester City player Joey Barton for his sending off at the Etihad Stadium, where City beat QPR 3-2 to clinch the Premier League for the first time in 44 years.
Barton was sent off in the 54th mi...
Rush Limbaugh Blames Hurricane Alberto On President Obama
WASHINGTON, D.C. - GOP radio talk show host and conservative commentator Rush Limbaugh, 61, and his much, much younger wife Kathryn, 35, recently attended a music concert at the District of Columbia's brand new Hail To The Chief Coliseum located on M...
Flesh-eating bacteria strain eats only excess body fat
Allentown, PA - Everyone knows Allentown is full of people who are too fat to fit into a restaurant booth. That is all about to change since the FDA approved the use of a new strain of flesh-eating bacteria for release into the wild, according to ou...
President Obama's Mama-In-Law Caught Using The White House Oval Office Red Phone
WASHINGTON, D.C. - The secret service is doing it's very best to keep a certain late night White House Oval Office incident secret.
According to a very reliable, inside source who did not want her name revealed, President Obama's mother-in-law, Ma...
The Dallas Mavericks Gets Swept Out Of The Playoffs By The Oklahoma City Thunder - Mavs Owner Mark Cuban Blames It On The "Kardashian Curse"
DALLAS - Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban will soon hear a knock on the door of his ultra luxurious office and it will be representatives from the NBA who will be picking up The Larry O'Brien Championship Trophy.
The Dallas Mavericks who stood at...
The Oklahoma City Thunder Stomp The Los Angeles Lakers 119-90: Kobe Bryant Threatens To Have The Entire Lakers Team Traded
OKLAHOMA CITY - The Oklahoma City Thunder made the Los Angeles Lakers look more like The Johnny Appleseed High School Apple Pie Bakers as they clobbered the Left Coast bunch 119-90.
After the game Kobe spoke with Sherwood Frisbee of Sports Balls I...
John Travolta Did Not Feel Me Up Says Olivia Newton-John
John Travolta's co-star from the smash hit musical blockbuster Grease has come to the actor's defense after weeks of allegations against the all dancing and singing superstar.
Olivia Newton-John has said that while working with Travolta in the 70...
Obama Sues Noam Chomsky, Chris Hedges and Cornell West for Making Him Look Bad by Challenging National Defense Authorization Act
Following a court decision striking down as unconstitutional a provision in the National Defense Authorization Act ("NDAA"), President Barack Obama, who signed the NDAA into law, filed a defamation lawsuit against the plaintiffs in the case. In his c...
Greece Plans To Break Away From Europe
Athens, Greece-- The economic situation in Greece is now so bad that the country has decided to leave Europe. Giant buzz saws have been placed on the borders of Greece and orders have been given to drill down 100 miles. Greece plans to detach itsel...
Ann Coulter Tells Ellen DeGeneres That Sarah "Snowflake" Palin Needs To Go Back To Alaska And Stay There!
HOLLYWOOD - Republican maven Ann Coulter recently appeared on The Ellen DeGeneres Show and gave her political opinions on all kinds of political issues.
The long legged stringy blonde haired Coulter told Ellen that she is tired of hearing that Sar...
Aston Villa line up Andre Villas-Boas as new manager
Following the sacking of Alex McCleish by Aston Villa earlier in the week, sources inside Villa Park suggest that former Chelsea boss Andre Villas-Boas will be the new man in the hot seat, early next week.
McCleish was sacked after 11 months in ch...
Kanye West Says He Likes Kim Kardashian A Lot But Not Enough To Marry Her
TUSCALOOSA, Alabama - Kanye West recently performed before a sell out crowd at Tuscaloosa's Cotton Pickin' Coliseum.
After the concert he was asked by Yodelle Denzel St. Bling with Afro Sheen Magazine how his relationship with new girlfriend Kim K...
Well-spoken grandmother in multi-million pound hat makes speech about cutting back
A well-spoken and well-preserved grandmother, Mrs Elizabeth Windsor, made a speech earlier this week in which she suggested that her colleagues, or, as she prefers to call them, "subjects" should cut back on the excesses of modern living and save for...
QPR fans face moral dilemma over Chelsea game in Munich
A football fan in Shepherd's Bush has been attacked by an angry mob after he was spotted strutting around West London in a Bayern Munich shirt.
'A huge crowd chased me, including members of the Anti-Nazi League. They tried to rip the shirt off my...
Mitt Romney Comments On The New Marvel Super Heroes Film "The Avengers"
CHICAGO - GOP presidential front runner Mitt Romney and his wife Ann attended a showing of the new super heroes film The Avengers.
The blockbuster movie broke the all-time opening weekend record with ticket sales of over $200 million.
After vie...
All not well with Zuckerbergs: Priscilla angered by Facebook stock
Only days into the Zuckerbergs' new life together, Priscilla Chan is enraged with her husband, the NASDAQ, and anyone else who gets in her way.
How many shares of Facebook she actually owns is a mystery, but one thing is clear: The stock issued at...
A Norwegian Archaeological Team Believes That They Have Found The Remains of The Infamous Monster Godzilla
OSAKA, Japan - A archaeological team from Holmenkollen, Norway, has made an amazing discovery.
Olaf "Icicles" Gunnarstrand, leader of the six-man archaeological team, has declared that the team known as The Blue Sardines has discovered the bones o...
Bloomberg Shrinking The Big Apple's Waistline With A Supersized Attack On 'Fatty Freedom'
New York's diminutive mayor has launched a campaign to shrink the city's citizenry down to size - one resident at a time. The effort began today with a ban on super-sized sugared drinks and will progress with the construction of "fat farms" in ea...
Julliard Music School Student Discovers Little-Known Folk Singer Named Bob Dylan
Jesse Rosemond, a guitar student at New York's Julliard School of Music, recently discovered the music of a little-known folk singer-songwriter named Bob Dylan from Duluth, Minnesota.
Jesse explained that although Julliard's musical focus tends...
Fukushima Radiation Inside Everyone Says Government
New York, NY-- There's great news tonight about the nuclear accident in Fukushima Japan. Government scientists are reporting that nuclear radiation from the meltdowns has now entered into the bodies of every person on the planet. The average person...
Americans Anxiously Await Matt Damon's Views on Wall Street Abuses and Economy
Many people, including politicians Barack Obama and Mitt Romney, author/activists Charles Ferguson and Noam Chomsky, and economists Larry Summers and Raghuram Rajan, have weighed in on (or denied) the fraud, political manipulations and criminal wrong...
Anonymous Hacks Man's Computer to Play Solitaire
Howard Muff set his anti-virus program to scan his computer. Then he shut off his monitor and went to bed. When he woke up in the middle of the night to check on it, he got quite a surprise: the cyber-terrorist group, "Anonymous", was actively playin...
Shakira and Sofia Vergara Will Both Be Guest Chefs On Gordon Ramsay's "Hell's Kitchen"
LOS ANGELES - The executives of Hell's Kitchen have announced that two of Colombia's top exports Shakira and Sofia Vergara will be appearing on an upcoming episode of Chef Gordon Ramsay's show.
Dryden B. Von Normandy, a spokesperson for HK, spoke...
American Idol Is Now Down To The Final Three As Hollie "The Little Dolly" Cavanaugh Is Eliminated
HOLLYWOOD - Jennifer Lopez, 42, just about stole the show as she performed on American Idol along with her 25-year-old boy-toy Caspar Smart.
J.Lo rocked the house and had fellow judge Steven "Lips" Tyler doing his best to keep his tongue in his mo...
President Barack Obama To Record A Song With Bob Dylan
WASHINGTON, D.C. - President Obama recently presented the highest civilian award in the nation to legendary music icon Bob Dylan.
The president speaking in the East Room of the White House, which was recently renovated at a cost of $5.2 million pl...
Why Bigfoot Hides; The Name Game
Is he shy? Too busy to engage with others? Fearful of capture?
The surprising answer is: None of the above. Bigfoot has been in touch with a Spoof reporter, explaining for the first time why he is in hiding.
It started with a simple te...
Charles Barkley Says That The Rumors That He and John Travolta Vacationed Together Down In Rio De Janeiro Are Totally False
ATLANTA - There is no one on American television who seems to put his foot in his mouth more than Charles "The Round Mound of Rebound" Barkley who is a sports analyst on the TNT Network.
Sir Charles, as his maid Rondella Floetta Jefferson calls hi...
Fukushima Is For Lovers!
Fukushima, Japan-- There's a new honeymoon spot for lovers, waiting across the sea. It's called Fukushima, Japan--and it offers empty beaches, romantic scenery and that extra special radioactive touch for all newlyweds. Fukushima is for lovers!...
Stevie Wonder incest scam 'first reared its ugly head in 1967': reports
Los Angeles - Allegations of incest have regularly plagued Stevland Hardaway Morris ever since the 1967 Tamla Motown hit 'I was made to love her' co-written with his mother Lula Mae Hardaway.
This weekend those smears are back in the news amid a s...
Great British Menu Reinvented Pea "Most Pointless Dish" Ever
A top cookery expert rounded on the BBC's popular TV chef contest Great British Menu yesterday after seeing a contestant struggling with a modern technique.
The show was already close to farce after Johnnie Mountain stormed out of the contest on T...
I'll Have Another Milkshake says Gina Rinehart
Aussie Gina Rinehart the world's richest woman with $30 Billion just bought McDonald's Australia for her own personal use. Gina Rinehart will not be riding I'll Have Another in his bid for the Triple Crown in the Belmont Stakes two weeks from now. Th...
Dinosaur farts warmed planet, but killed mating attempts: study
HARFOLD, Vt. - In a study released this week by Harfold State College, scientists revealed that dinosaurs were, by far, the worst farters in our planet's history.
Although these farts went a long way in warming the planet, increasing the average t...
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