Business Brief
Pro-debt protesters march across the UK
Protests were held today in London, Glasgow and Belfast to demand that the government spends as much money as possible in order to increase the national debt.
It is estimated that as many as 10,000 people may have turned out to show their disconte...
Trump plans to rescue World Economy by creating World's Largest Golf Course
Never one to rest on his preposterous hairstyle, Donald Trump has announced his strategy to end the Global Economic slowdown. On the back of his outstanding commercial success on the east coast of Scotland, Trump is now ready to unveil his next stag...
Sparks and Mensa announce lower profits for the year
Sparks and Mensa, the High Street store that the intelligentsia know and love has announced lower pre-tax profits than at this point last year.
"Our pre-tax profits are down by just over ten percent," said accountant, Ben Counter, who has shown be...
UK's Last Mackeson Well Runs Dry
Britain's last remaining Mackeson well, located in Stepney, East London has finally run dry after 105 years of production.
Mackeson, a sweet milk stout, is probably best known for the TV catchphrase: 'It looks good. It tastes good. And by golly it...
Swiss Bank Discovers Cause of Global Recession
Want to be a Sexual Olympian? Try Bed Bull!
Comedian takes over Bank of England
Sparks and Mensa launch their denture range
High Street stores to merge
Jessop's the failed high street photography retailer, are set to continue inside HMV stores, sparking a rush of other failing and failed stores to join in.
Receivers in charge of selling off HMV have changed tack, and decided that amalgamation no...
Pig meat found in hot cross buns
A spokesman for Britain's leading bakery chain admitted that pigmeat was used in millions of hot cross buns on sale this weekend. Most of the major supermarkets have this product on their shelves, discounted at one pound per bun.
The chief Rabbi i...
Sinclair to launch the C6
Sir Clive Sinclair, the inventor and boffin that brought us home computing, rechargeable electric cars and calculators that were allowed in maths exams due their fiendishly complicated interface, is to try again with the rechargeable car. Sinclair is...
Prostitutes struggling in austerity Britain
The sex industry, normally turgid even during tough times, has become flaccid in recent months. This is partly due to stiff competition but also due to punters lacking the wad to pay for hookers.
Prostitutes have had to lower their prices to remai...
History of Cross Dressing - part 1
Cross dressing in ancient times, before the invention of gender specific clothing, mainly involved shaving off the beard. This was considered a perversion by those who liked facial hair.
Cyprus Banks Take Back Toasters, Ruin Breakfast
Nicosia, Cyprus - The shiny toasters that bank customers received for opening new accounts are being confiscated by the financial institutions that gifted them. Objective: to help ease this country's multibillion euro debt crisis.
"No, this is not...
Yippee! Beeb's handy Budget Calculator puts Spoof writer at £7,984,115 better off in 2013/14!
London - An online Budget Calculator published by the BBC has estimated that one Spoof writer will be approximately £8 million per annum better off in 2013 following George Osborne's Budget on Wednesday.
A 5% cut in the top rate of income tax and...
Osborne Approves Flood Of Toxic Banks
'Piggy Party' a small toy company based in George Osborne's own parliamentary constituency of Tatton, Cheshire, was hailed by the Chancellor yesterday as a "shining example for small businesses."
"Rather than sitting around waiting for handouts...
New Chocolate Sensation will be First Past the Post in Sales
A new Chocolate bar was launched today by Knestles named HORSE DELIGHT. It is the product of years of research into the eating habits of both humans and horses.
Chief Executive of Knestles, Toby Barker, said that HORSE DELIGHT would be the the 'bi...
Boris Johnson loves a cup of corporation taxed Starbucks!
The fabulous Lord Mayor of London, circus artist, aristocrat and TV quiz show host, Boris Johnson, has come out of his closet to support Starbucks Coffee in their bid to pay 20 million quid corporation tax!
He has requested that the UK public shou...
Ali Bullo To Remove The 'Big Jimmy' From Kebab Van Menus
South coast kebab, burger and pizza entrepreneur Ali Bullo today announced that the menu item known as the 'Big Jimmy' is to be discontinued with immediate effect from all of his conveniently located kebab and burger vans.
Market analysts speculat...
Government proposal to tax orgasms
The Government have, this morning, unveiled plans to raise billions of pounds to support the fragile economy. It was widely expected that they were to introduce an increase in VAT, but in a shock, and massively controversial, move, Government spokesp...
Irish Waffle Could Keep British Lights On
The Irish gift for blarney, blather and waffle could soon begin cutting the UK consumer energy bill by £10 Billion over the next eight years.
"The average Irishman generates more hot air in a single day than any other nationality" says Dr Hugh Q...
Latest Spoof Business Brief Headlines
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Cruise Lines Agree on Regulatory Body
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Area Man a little concerned Nike only now withdrawing Pistorius endorsement
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London Opens Up The Nation's First Giddy Up Burger Diner
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Dyson launches the Dyson Hair Straighteners
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O'Malleys Bank in Ireland Demands Euro Bailout to Avoid Meltdown
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Yippee! Beeb's handy Budget Calculator puts Spoof writer at £7,984,115 better off in 2013/14!
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Pig meat found in hot cross buns
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Cyprus Banks Take Back Toasters, Ruin Breakfast
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Apple Announces Their New Corporate Name
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Walmart's ingenious scheme to push impulse buys
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Viagra Pill Sales Surpass M&M Sales
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New Chocolate Sensation will be First Past the Post in Sales
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Bum rap as Nat Rothschild loses Bumi deal
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Ikea customers demand money back after failing to jump over Bechers Brook!
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Alex Salmond and Cristina Kirchner 'joined at the hip' says energy security think tank
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Societal Norms to blame for all evil
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Sequestration Castration to Hit Hard in Congress
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Formerly Priceless Commodity, Love, Now Traded on NYSE
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Barrel making companies looking to diversify
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Farquar unravels plot at Walmart
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