Entertainment & Gossip
Louis Walsh brain implant rejected, say medics
The heady days of measurable cerebral activity are over for brain implant recipient Louis Walsh, according to Senior Neurologist Willie Bodgem. After several desperate attempts to reconnect disrupted neurotransmitters, Bodgem emerged from Beaumont Ho...
No Worries For Dorries As She's Booted Out Of The Jungle
Occassional Conservative MP and full-time attention seeker Nadine Dorries has become the first person to be voted off ITV's 'I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here'.
Dorries, who's not even a celebrity, became the first sitting MP since George Gallowa...
Papped Kate baby scan pics posted online
Cyberspace - Bootleg online images of Kate Middleton's second trimester brat have been traced to London's Royal Freak Hospital's ultrasound department.
They show a previously unrecorded species gestating in her rent-a-bun-oven amid rumors that a m...
Celebrities rush to defend "bird brain" Tess Daly after Buerk attack
Days after Michael Buerk slammed the BBC's Jubilee coverage, celebrities have come to the defence of Tess Daly, whom Buerk described as a "pneumatic bird brain".
The Pineapple Dance Studio narrator singled out the Strictly Come Dancing presenter...
Meryl Streep to play Thatcher on Wednesday
I'm a Celebritiy get me out of here! Punch up.
Nelson Mandela Tipped To Win Big Brother International Event
Spice Girls show goes tits up
Football team sponsored by brothel offers players free samples!
A Greek football team that is sponsored by a brothel (Times are hard in Greece especially trying to finding sponsors) have also received a bonus from the sponsors; if they win their games they can have some free samples!
The brothel owner, Madame...
Kate Starts A Barf-O-Rama At Palace Dinner
London, England - According to sources close to the Royal family, last night's dinner reception for India's Prime Minister, Manhoman Singh, was one for the history books, or perhaps, one to be erased from the history books.
It would appear that Ka...
William Shatner or Captain Kirk? Turns out he didn't know either
'Trekkies' the world over can barely contain their excitement following a sensational find at a major Hollywood studio this week. Kirk's famous 'Captain's Log', it seems, was a real document. The studio has already released excerpts from the journal...
Banksy unveils art installation made of his own shit
Controversial street artist Banksy has unveiled an 8ft wall painting of a masturbating baby made entirely of his own shit.
The piece entitled "Waaaaa Waaaaa Wanky" which is the first of seven excrement-based pieces Banksy intends to produce; will...
Tories Apologise To Mental Health Organisations Over Use Of Stigmatising Language
'Our activists should not be described as "mad, swivel-eyed loons",' said a spokesman, 'but rather as people with severe mental health problems who experience ocular complications.'
Top West End dancer Kurt Silvey admits to practicing dance routines with a female shop mannequin
Well we never expected to hear this, but apparently this week Kurt Silvey has admitted to the rumours that most of the time he did not practice his dance routines with his partner, he actually did it with a female shop mannequin. Friends of the West...
New Bond a big surprise
Hollywood, Los Angeles. In slowly emerging but nevertheless breaking news here, former English Test cricketer, John Emburey, has been revealed as the next portrayer of master spy James Bond in the Ian Fleming film adaptations from 2015.
Emburey, w...
Channel 5 Greenlights New Reality Shows for 2013
Channel 5 has today announced a new series of reality programmes to try and help boost it's ratings.
Speaking from 5's head offices in Lower Frottage, head of programming Boisterous Crotch said "While our viewers will still see their favourite sh...
Andrew Lloyd-Webbedfeet and Tim Ricekrispies unveil their new musical: Le Pissoir
It's been a long time coming, but theatregoers will be literally on the edge of their seats with the news that Andrew Lloyd-Webbedfeet and Tim Ricekrispies are releasing a new musical.
Entitled Le Pissoir, it is a romantic tale set in the 1930s ab...
Rosemary Shrager Told To "Cook Off" Out Of The Jungle
With just four more days left of ITV's 'I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here!', TV cook Rosemary Shrager has been told to get the cook off the show by it's viewers.
Rotund Rosemary, previously best known for her role on ITV's 'Ladette to Lady' when...
Vocally impaired badger favourite to win 'The Voice'
A badger with torettes and a severe speech impediment has been made the bookies favourite to win this year's tediously-familiar, televised singing-competition, The Voice.
Roadkill, the six-year-old badger from Guernsey, blew the judges away with...
New Star Wars film to be made in the UK
UK Chancellor George Osbourne has praised his own tax policies for encouraging Disney to make the new Star Wars film in Britain. He described it as a vindication of his strategy of tax breaks for the creative industry.
Critics have pointed out the...
It's Official. Dame Helen Mirren Loves Drumming and Drummers but Hates the Gay Parade
Yesterday in Soho the organisers of Gay Pride held a small performance to advertise the up and coming Gay Pride Parade which will be held in London mid July this year. Using a drum band to create an audience with a loud beat, so that they could give...
Latest Spoof Entertainment & Gossip Headlines
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Angelina Jolie Says She Had Double Lobotomy
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Simon Cowell Wants To Buy Hugh Hefner's Playboy Mansion
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Nicki Minaj Confesses Women Are Jealous of Her Because She Is A Sex Symbol
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Flopsy LeBron Plays Goliath on TV
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Hollywood Collector Pays $4,000,000 For Angelina Jolie's Breasts
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Mr Blobby arrested on suspicion of offenses carried out in 1990s
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Let's Call the Whole Thing Off: Gronk Cancels Trip
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Cruz leaves one church for another
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Nina Dobrev, Ian Somerhalder, and Honey Boo Boo Appear On The Viagra View
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There's Trouble Looming In The Prince William - Kate Middleton Marriage
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Madonna Cannot Stand Nicki Minaj and Says She Belongs In The Circus
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Lindsay Lohan's Rehab Clinic Escape Plot Exposed!
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Candice Glover of South Carolina Crowned The New American Idol!
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Ochocinco Down for the Count
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Star Trek Into Darkness: The Bloopers, Trivia, and Quotes
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Police have 'new leads' in Peppa Pig disappearance
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The Beatles to reform for the next Eurovision
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