At three o'clock on Saturday, football grounds will fall silent, as news expanded out of Huw Edwards, announcing that Cheryl Cole had expelled a rather foul smelling gas, after having a rather noxious Curry during the all you can eat buffet at Mad Mullah's Indian Noisegrill, last Thursday.
Fellow bystanders, including a Yorkshireman with a wanton growl were left stunned after Cheryl let loose the pungent waft in front of a handful of other diners.
After the incident, a man, only identified as "Umlaut" decided - "Cheryl is our pop princess, and a massive talent...it's a dark day in Britain's history".
As news bounced around the globe, the Football Association were forced to act, and called a meeting at its Soho headquarters to discuss this political hot potato.
Trevor Brooking, wearing a rather strange cowboy hat, made a statement to the press, where he mouthed..
"Pressure from those in mourning, have asked all football clubs to hold a minute's silence to celebrate this life that was so tragically cut short.
We have decided to speak for the people, and the FA have agreed to this request. All players will be forced to wear fancy dress during the first 45 minutes of each of the games..it's what Cheryl would have wanted".
Bolton Wanderers forward, Kevin Davies yawned on Twitter..."I've just lined up my costume...even the feathers look mawkish".
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