Funny story:  50 things you must do in Britain before you die

50 things you must do in Britain before you die

Travel agency GetMeTheF***OutOfHere has compiled a list of the fifty things that every British person should do before he or she dies. The list is intended to increase tourism to the UK as well as boosting some of our best known exports. It includes many experiences which British people will commonly do at some time in their life. Foreigners and tourists may wonder about some of the items, but...
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The greatest love of all

Let's face it guys, we all get nervous before a date with a beautiful young lady. And if it is one that you suspect and hope that you are going to get lucky on, then it's only natural that some performance anxiety will creep in. There are several ways to combat this but one of the commonest is to have a little "me time" prior to your date. This not only relaxes you but will hopefully make you a li...
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A look at next year's Oscar contenders

Here is a sneak peak of some of the films that are predicted to do well at the 2015 Oscars. "Fists of a Father"- a hard-hitting (pun intended) drama about the horrors of life under a tyrannical and violent father, seen through the eyes of his daughter, set against the back drop of the Korean war. Based on a best selling novel, although heavily edited for the film version. Starring newcomer Na...
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Funny story:  The Doctor Will See You Now

The Doctor Will See You Now

The most noble doctor of good standing and wealth you should see once a month if you're in bad health. He'll knock out the lights and just in one word instantly removes your vision with worms. He'll put you in a trance make you water his plants and whilst operating he'll play music and dance. All manner of disorders including head and the brain are dealt with quite easily in excruciating pain.
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Funny story:  Man Loses The Plot

Man Loses The Plot

Imagine walking through town. You have a beard. The beard sits on your face. You realise this and so turn to look into a shoppe window hoping to catch a glimpse of you with your beard. There it is you think, still there. Anyway after this you turn a corner (as corners are notoriously difficult to navigate if one keeps walking in the same direction) and all of a sudden you are confronted with a her...
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BBC Top Gear special 'Pope my Ride'

In honour of canonising Popes John Paul II and John XXII, the BBC are advertising, every hour on the hour, seemingly forever, a blockbuster Top Gear special to be screened this week. The job-lot of saints John are to be celebrated with an action-packed epic of irreverent and barely legal japery. With His Holiness Pope Francis as the star guest, the team undertake an engineering Health and Safet...
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So Easy Even a Man Can Do It - Parking Guide

Husbands - forget embarrassing parallel parking mess - ups, getting into trouble in the supermarket car park, scuffing your wife's expensive alloy wheels and banging the car door onto the next one while struggling to squeeze your beer gut out of the driver's door. Here's our confidence boosting parking advice: 1) Get touch up paint to keep in your "Man Bag". 2) Superglue giant cats whiskers...
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Funny story:  I'm a saint

I'm a saint

I'm a saint. No, it's true! I just heard it on the News. Pope Francis has declared me a saint. Miracles are second nature to me. As I write, adoring hordes are beating their way to the door of my bungalow because I have experienced miracles. It's a miracle I'm still alive after that near miss with the articulated lorry at that road junction near Gerona in Spain with Dennis and Gordon in Dennis's A...
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Breaking News...

Warning Not To Let Trojan Horse Religious Cults Into Your House

Householders have been warned by police not to accept gifts of suspiciously large wooden horses with bibles. Once inside your house scores of evangelistic missionaries will jump out and preach at you.


 
Funny story:  Doesn't that itch?

Doesn't that itch?

Vaginas. They have really stood the test of time and remain as popular today as they ever were. Possibly even more so and it's hardly surprising. Us guys don't have them, and the girls that do don't always want us to see them. This only adds to our fascination, and then we read ladies magazines and discover there are loads of different ways girls can embellish their vaginas! It's no wonder we're a...
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Funny story:  Off your Facebook

Off your Facebook

I find it ridiculous to accuse the glorious and magnificent all-powerful Facebook being of manipulating my emotions. I was logged in for an hour this morning and found it very enlightening to rapidly assimilate the Cyrillic alphabet. Must reach Kremlin. If my emotions were manipulated surely I'd be ecstatic that England are out of the World Cup and I'm not. Mainly because they are still in it acco...
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Funny story:  Big-Shot Barry, Brilliant Businessman

Big-Shot Barry, Brilliant Businessman

Barry found a nice office. He bought some new furniture and moved in. he had only been there for e few hours when he heard someone coming toward the door of his office. "It must be my first customer" Barry thought. He quickly picked up the telephone and pretended to be very busy answering an important call from someone in New York who wanted to buy a big and expensive house in the country. F...
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Funny story:  The Lizzy Awards

The Lizzy Awards

Why nobody in Stratford knew that Shakespeare wrote plays in London.....because this never happened Scene: Albert Hall, 1600 Announcer: And now for the award we have all be waiting for...the best play of 1599....The nominess are: Ben Jonson for "Everyman in his Humor"; Thomas Dekker for "Shoeman's Holiday"; John Webster for "The White Devil"; Thomas Middleton for "The Changeling"; and Wi...
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Funny story:  The life of a pound coin

The life of a pound coin

In the week when the British economy returns to pre-crisis levels, we take a look at the life of a pound coin during a single week, in an attempt to explain why the British economy manages to be so dynamic. Our coin's tale begins with George Osbourne, as he spends our taxes to buy a Revolting Peasants cocktail at Jolly Cedric's Wank-Bar For Toffs. 20% of the cost goes to the taxman, so at the p...
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Funny story:  A Short History Of Yorkshire Croquet

A Short History Of Yorkshire Croquet

Yorkshire Savoury Croquet, popularised by John Prescott, is a game played on a large lawn. Equipment consists of long handled mallets, two sets of balls and some hoops pressed into the grass. It is quite hard to play when inebriated, but larger beer hoops are used in this instance. The croquet balls are made from a mixture of chopped, cooked bacon. small cheese cubes and mashed potato. Combine...
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Funny story:  New York Times interview with  Modi

New York Times interview with Modi

New York: India's Right-wing party, Bharatiya Janata Party's prime ministerial candidate Mr. Narendra Modi talks to our Delhi correspondent M.A.Hussain. Although his detractors say that his interactions with media are fixed, and he knows in advance what shall go into print, but we have found Mr. Modi's interview remarkably candid and forthright. It will surprise his critics as well as his admirer...
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Funny story:  The greatest World Cup footballers of all time

The greatest World Cup footballers of all time

To celebrate the World Cup in Brazil, we take a look back at some of the all time greats of football. Those players who have stood out from the crowd and made a real impact on the game. Here are TheSpoof's five best World Cup footballers of all time. 5. "Wee Eck" McSmith The diminutive Scottish centre forward was considered the best footballer in the world back in 1974, in the days when Scotla...
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Vondrook
Vondrook
Joined: 17 March 2009
Stories Written: 51

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