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The Mystery Of Puddleby Cove - Featuring The Spiffing Six - Episode Three
Update - The story so far... The Spiffing Six (Of whom there are four, and a somewhat priapic dog,) have arrived at Aunt Peg's cottage at Puddleby Cove, and have encountered a mysterious figure, flitting about amongst the rocks in the cove, in a highly suspicious manner. The Spiffing Six attempted to pursue the suspicious character, but - hampered by overindulgence in food, Headbanger beer, and a...
Ponderisms and Life Quips
1· I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.
2· There are two kinds of pedestrians: the quick and the dead.
3· Life is sexually transmitted.
4· Healthy is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
5· The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
6· Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying i...
The Lift: An Everyday Story Of Office Folk.
To: Allstaff
From: Reception.
13:15 14/05/11
Sorry to report that the lift is not workin today. If you are expectin any visitors please come to receptionto meet them and not leave them to find their way to your offices by theirselves.
Anyone goin for a drink after work? Its happy hour on fridays at the Duke.
Laura in reception.
xxx
To: Laura Twist
From: MD office
13:17 14/05/11...
Ice Cold in Alex
Hard-cheeked buttocks stood proud, taut muscles rippled under the strain, sweat beaded down the rugged noble face as his hot breath swirled then dissipated into the cold Manchester air. In Alexandria's adoring eyes, Jack cut the figure of a statuesque rampant stallion ...
"Oooooh, what a creamy dream," she thought.
"Eh?". Jack flashed his luxuriant camel-lashed eyes in her direction.
"Lo...
University Challenge: "Ave Atque Vale" Dearest Homerton
The Adventure Of The Missing Christmas Goose Pt IX; A Festive Shylock Humes Mystery
The Mystery Of Puddleby Cove - Featuring The Spiffing Six - Episode Two
News release from Tic Rodd, Governor of the Turks and Caicos Islands
The Adventure Of The Missing Christmas Goose Pt VIII; A Festive Shylock Humes Mystery
Political News for W/E 11th Februrary 2012 - with comments
The Mystery Of Puddleby Cove - Featuring The Spiffing Six - Episode Three - Part Two
The Adventure Of The Missing Christmas Goose Pt X Of X; A Festive Shylock Humes Mystery
England Prepares For Scottish Independence
On Burns Night, 2012, the BBC broadcast to English viewers and listeners, Scotland's First Minister, Alex Salmond, reading poems by Robert Burns.
Few will forget the chilling threat that followed this attack. 'Ah will continue tae reid th' poems ay Rabbie Burns at ye sassenachs,' vowed a visibly crazed Mr Salmond, 'until Scootlund achieves independence. Indeed,' he added, with wild eyes bulging...
University Challenge: Clare Just Fail To Storm Pembroke's Castle
There was very nearly a coup in the latter stages of this ultimately exciting match.
As Clare staged a roaring comeback from a seemingly hopeless position (the score at one stage read an embarrassing Pembroke 140 Clare minus 5) the excitable Daniel Janes seemed to all but usurp skipper Jonathan Burley's answering prerogative.
Both Cambridge teams went into this match needing one win to make...
Argentina Say They Would Invade Falklands If It Wasn't For Royal Navy's Nuclear Submarines
Argentine President (the hot looking one, give or take twenty years - actually not give, I mean take, don't add twenty years, that would be hideous, no take twenty years away from her then she would be not bad, anyway..), whats her name, anyway, has announced she would "bomb the shit out of the Falkland Islands" if it wasn't for the fact that the UK had a nuclear arsenal!
"That Thatcher film h...
Alien Babies Hatch from PIP Breast Implants
MARY Bacon, a thirty eight year old ex-military officer, has been found to be mothering twin extra-terrestrial creatures in her loft at her home in Derbyshire. Not only this, but Mary claims that the twin aliens hatched from her newly enhanced breasts. This shocking revelation has brought a vast and, frankly, horrific conspiracy into the foreground.
THE BEGINNING
Mary received the PIP breast...
Britain's army of MOD civil servants share £40m in bonuses!
Britain's army of Ministry of Defence civil servants share £40million in bonuses!"Why are we allowing this?"
My Senior Moments - W/E Sunday 19th February 2012
Selected Senior Moments suffered by a Nottingham Senior Citizen. In the hopes of raising a laugh at them, and making them easier to live with.
Sunday 12th February:
* Woke up, went into kitchen and thought 'That's nice, it's not so cold this morning'. I'd left the oven on all night!
* Made a cuppa, then put the tea bags in the fridge and left the milk out?
* Put me Impetigo cream on me lesi...
Nottingham News for W/E 11th February 2012 - with comments
4th February 2012: Nottingham Lottery winners "still claiming benefits" after £10 million jackpot win!
Category: Lottery
Link: This is Nottingham - Greedy Lottery Winners
Mick and Jean O'Shea won the huge EuroMillions sum in 2005, but Mr O'Shea still receives £500 a month disability allowance because it is not means-tested, it was reported in a national newspaper.
The paper claimed that the...
Nobody Likes You? - Sorry, There Isn't An App For That
Apps are wonderful things - they provide all manner of solutions to all manner of situations, demands, foibles, and even sexual desires.
But if nobody likes you?
There isn't an app for that.
And software engineer Johnny Soffit should know - he's been trying - and failing - to develop such an app for years.
"It all started when I received an Email from a person who claimed that nobody w...
University Challenge: Manchester And Clare Duke Out A Classic
As Lord Liverpool may well have ejaculated on hearing Wellington's despatch reporting the victory at Waterloo: "Bloody hell! What a stonker!"
This was quarter-final last chance saloon for these sides, both of whom had already lost one match, and they served up a spectacular, high-scoring tight finish.
The outfit from Cambridge, featuring the deeply intense Daniel Janes, got off to a slow sta...
Dear Plumber
As a jobbing plumber of over 30 years standing it will come as no surprise when I tell you that I'm regularly inundated with requests from despairing members of the public who need a sympathetic ear and some sound advice when dealing with their emotional, marital and sexual issues. Only last week I received the following crie de cours from a distressed woman who was quite clearly at the end of her...
Whitney - Local Man Gets So Emotional
Following the terrible news that soul diva, Whitney Houston was found dead in the bathroom of a Hollywood hotel yesterday, at the age of 48 - local man, Martin Shuttlecock, laid bare his thoughts on the demise of an iconic figure in the world of music.
"I didn't even know her," a stunned Shuttlecock told reporters. "Never met the woman, but the wife was a bit upset about it. She said she shed a...
Raw and Gritty and Right Up In Your Face: The true story of Gary and the Gobshites.
There is absolutely no doubt that one of the most successful, one of the most controversial and one of the most outspoken bands of the 1980s was U2, Culture Club and Frankie Goes to Hollywood. And yet none of them match up to the pure post-punk, pre-power-pop, rough-pop-rock panache of Gary and the Gobshites.
Gary and the Gobshites epitomised the very essence of raging teen angst in the early...
The day the music died
There was an international outpouring of sympathy at the weekend for the death of Whitney Houston. But another less celebrated musician died on the same day, whose passing has barely been mentioned in the newspapers.
Johnny "John" Johnson had a musical career spanning five decades. A few weeks ago, TheSpoof were lucky enough to interview him for the last time, barring a now-unlikely comeback. T...
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