Spoof news snippets from Tuesday 24 April 2012

Healthy GM Lamb Introduced

Genetically-modified lamb with a 'healthy' type of fat naturally found in fish and nuts have been cloned for the first time, by Chinese scientists. However, it still tastes like chicken!

The Hunt is Off

The hounds are ready to tear into the Hunt. Watch the kill on Candid Cameron.

Didier Drogba to hang up his boots and become a Ballerina!

D.Drogba has decided to hang up his boots, win or lose tonight, because secretly he always wanted to dance The Swan Lake, and now his dream has come true, he's been offered the part of the "Bad Swan"!

UK Government Proposes Tax on E-Mail

The government proposes to tax e-mail within five years, it has been reported. "Spammers have had it too good!" The Minister for Technology said today.

Chocolate Is to Follow Cigarettes

The latest idea from the EU is to sell boxes of chocolates without any fancy packaging because it encourages obesity in much the same way as fancy packaging and cigarettes. It is claimed.

No Charity for Cameron

Opinion Polls indicate that Cameron is no longer a Good Cause.

Inseine's BOOK OF THE DAY 30

Barclay told PM David cameron to call editor every day

Telegraph chairman texted David Cameron before 2010 election about making calls to Daily Telegraph editor, Leveson inquiry hears.

You know, as you do.

Rare 1792 penny sells for $1.15 million

The unusual coin was auctioned off Thursday at the Renaissance Schaumburg Convention Center in suburban Chicago.

"So who wouldn't bend down to pick up a penny now!"

HMG Survey: Unemployment lowers people's life satisfaction and increases anxiety!

"No honestly, they actually carried out a survey to tell this? - the twits!"