Sound travels five times faster through water than through air!
"Oh good! Can David Cameron make his next speech from within a tank of water please?"
"Please!"
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"Calling Mr Jackson, calling Mr Jackson!"
Siege at Tottenham Court Road ended... Police got fed up waiting for Samuel L Jackson and Kevin Spacey to arrive, cancelled the Burger King order and called it a day after arresting the fruitloop!
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Rupert Murdoch calls David Camerons son a 'retard'
In public (at the Leveson inquiry).
The mind boggles what he calls his own son (Former News International CEO James who stepped down two weeks ago) in private(?)
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Barcelona get new TV
Tito Vilanova will succeed Pep Guardiola as coach in the summer.
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Obama pulls out all the stops in campaign
The Obama campaign has doubled-down its effort to woo young female voters. Yesterday, VP Biden told a NYU audience "I promise you, the president has a big stick."
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New Witness Oath To Be Introduced For Leveson Enquiry
'The usual oath hasn't worked,' said a spokesman. 'The new one will say: I hereby agree that if 95% of the public believe I am lying, Lord Leveson will remove my testicles with secateurs, live on TV.'
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Pep Guardiola to end reign as Barcelona coach in summer
In a prepared statement today 38 year old Guardiola said 'the embarrassment of managing a team that conceded a goal to Fernando Torres is too much and I need time away to recover'
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Inseine's BOOK OF THE DAY 33
"No!"
by
Kurt Reply
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More Embarrassment For Home Secretary
According to a leaked Home Office memo, Teresa May.
I really wish she wouldn't.
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Walkin' the dog, not here.
A Louisiana man has been arrested for walking his dog after midnight in contravention of laws banning animal/human interaction in the small hours of the morn. His dog however was released free.
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Betfred declare title race over and payout to Manchester United backers.
Betfreds co-founder thought the race was over with 7 games left. He memorably paid out early in 1998 to United backers only for Arsenal to win the league.
His name, Fred Done. Looks like he has been.
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