Bad Headline: number 106
10-MONTH-OLD BABY ATTACKED BY FERRET IN PRAM
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World Snooker Latest: Carter tops Trump
Ali Carter 13 Judd Trump 12.
What sort of a name is Judd anyway?
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Bad Headline: number 105
COUNCIL DROPS GOD FROM PRAYERS
In the event, the Almighty was not hurt.
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"I wish Hodgson well" says Redknapp
Last seen flying to Monaco to withdraw cash to buy a voodoo doll...
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Alexandra Burkes Berk
Alexandra Burke is dealing with revelations that Jermaine Defoe cheated on her. She said "It's a private time at the moment…When I make my decision I'll plaster it all over a newspaper don't worry"
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14,000 Japanese Die Every Year in Bathtub
It is estimated that 14,000 Japanese die every year in the bathtub although it should be made clear that it is NOT the same bathtub!
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Manchester City 1 Manchester United 0
A goal by Vincent Kompany in the Mancester derby gives all three points to City, who are now keeping United 'company' at the top of the table with 83 points.
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Australian billionaire to make Titanic II (ship)
And if that sinks as well, James Cameron can make the Titanic II film (in 3D)
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Police considering investigation into voter fraud in Tower Hamlets
About time. How many people called 'Mohammed Khan' can there be living in one flat?
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Roy Hodgson turns down England job.
"Harry Redknapp turned up at my house with a suitcase full of money and asked me not to take it"...
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Politicians voted least trusted profession in the UK
Great news for estate agents.
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Culture Secretary Jeremy Hunt to change name by deed-poll
He will now be known as Jeremy Twat.
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Loaded magazine bought by multimillionaire porn star
He bought it on ebay.
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Britain braced for further floods.
I've got my buckets ready.
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Pirate bay website to be blocked
You'll have to buy your pirates offline now.
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Tottenham Court Road Siege Suspect 'Was BNP Candidate'
Well that's not going to make them popular with voters...
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The Voice's Will.I.Am rapped for sending texts on air
'Hey mum look at BBC1 - i'm on the telly!'
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Female Sex Addict Leaves Man Weeping On Street After 36 Hour Attack!
if anyone knows the street name please drop me a line.
Click here for the true story!
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Doing Well in China
There are least 10 Chinese billionaires who have made it into the 'Yellow Times' Lich Rist.
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"You want ice wid dat bud?"
Oz billionaire Clive Palmer has ordered a Chinese shipyard to build an exact replica of the Titanic. Maiden voyage scheduled from UK 2016....wonder who's building the iceberg?
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The U.K.'s Most Infected Website
According to Avast! The most infected website in the UK is www.Cocktailmaking.co.uk, however, one even more dangerous has been found called www.Molotovcocktailmaking.com and is a hit with terrorists.
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The Hunt's Back Passage
David Cameron has found nothing in the Hunt's back passage to justify the sack - 'just the usual crap'.
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written by
j.w., 30 April 2012
Inseine's BOOK OF THE DAY 36
"The Scent of a Man"
by
Jim Nasium
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Badminton Horse Trials Cancelled
The RSPCA have finally got their wish.
They have claimed for many years that making horses play badminton was cruel.
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True Legend: It is illegal to die in Parliament
This was voted Britain's "most ludicrous law"
"Let them die, the nepotistic bastards!"
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Study Shows We Use Only 10% Of Our Brains To Realize That Isn't True
The same study claims the average person will read that headline a total of three times before finally admitting to themselves that they don't get it.
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Red Eye in your photograph?
If you have one red eye in a flash photograph, you might have eye cancer!
"Just thought I'd pass this on to cheer you up!"
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Woman arrested after shop dummy entered as Aberdeen council election candidate!
"How come no one arrested Cameron then?"
Details
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Know What?
First Lady Michelle Obama's 2010 Spanish vacation cost US taxpayers about $500,000. GSA officials claim Michelle helped them plan their expensive Las Vegas NV conference!
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Screwed Up Priorities
Muslim fanatics attack & kill Christians in nations that don't have a "pot to piss in" & destroy any economic infrastructure. Yet, environmentalists are worried about climate change in these nations!
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Practical Engineers Wanted
The DOE run by academic scientists in the Obama administration has become a money pit for immature "green" energy experiments, vice developing mass power generation technologies.
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US Birthrate Increases
The FDA announced it is recalling 1 million defective condoms!
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President Obama's Arab Spring Foreign Policy
Egypt's Islamist majority in parliament introduced the "Farewell Intercourse Law" that would legally allow husbands to have sex with their deceased wives up to six hours after their death!
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Labour Demand David Cameron Makes Hunt Statement
A Labour insider claims the PM is "ducking his responsibilities". Never!
News Corp PR guru's are currently working on a statement for Cameron to deliver in Parliament.
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