Latest spoof news snippets
Showing the very latest breaking spoof news snippets. You can use the calendar on the right to browse through the most recent breaking news snippets.
Britain's army of MOD civil servants share £40m in bonuses!
Britain's army of Ministry of Defence civil servants share £40million in bonuses!
"Why are we allowing this?"
Manchester City offer £58m for Cesc Fabregas!
Man City will offer a staggering £58million for the Arsenal star.
"That reminds me, I must get some athlete's foot cream from the Pound Shop!"
Pensioners to lose bus-passes, TV licences. and Winter fuel payments!
Social Market Foundation: OAP's should lose their free bus travel, winter fuel payments and free TV licences.
"You B-----DS!"
Trapped driver lives on snow for two months in -30º temps
Incredible ice man Peter Skyllberg lost three stones after living on nothing but snow since being trapped in drifts on a lonely forest road in the week before Christmas.
Daily Express
"Amazing!"
Wright Ready To Attack?
President Obama contemplating turning preacher Jeremiah Wright on Santorum and Romney after their religious statements of late.
Judge May Be Lenient
Florida man arrested last month for taking up-skirt shots of women in Wal-Mart, hospitalized as he still can't keep anything on his stomach.
Paul Slams Rick
New Ron Paul Ad Slams Santorum As 'Flake'. "That's my best endorsement yet", says Santorum.
WHite House Wary
White House wary of affirmative action case. Keep poking it with a stick and running away.
Anti-Obama Protestant Colleges Upset
Protestant colleges threaten to end coverage in response to Obama's contraceptive mandate. "We have a contraceptive idea for the President", says one student who refused to give his name.
US Apologizes
US Military apologizes to Afghanistan for burning Quran, blowing country back to stone age.
New Sneeze Guard Installed
At the Capitol Hill Congressional cafeteria today, the first double-ply sneeze guard was revealed. Apparently an ordinary sneeze guard is no match for day after day of blocking blowhards!
Adele mannequins in short supply
A company that manufactures mannequins with the more shapely curves of Adele, is not able to keep up with demand because they are having to contend with a shortage of plastic.
Lack Of Security, Says Mayor
Firebug arrested in Little Rock, Arkansas yesterday but escapes late last night after jailhouse burns to the ground. Sheriff Joe Ben Addled hot-footed during ABC interview suddenly beeped off the air.
Youth Becomes The First Ever!
A 5-year-old boy, one Robert Pampos of Nashville, Tn., has become the first kid to break the sound barrier. This was accomplished when his mother passed up the Sugar Lump Cereal section at Wal-Mart!
Cat The Center Of Family Problems
Family blames family cat for everything! "You should have been home two hours ago, young lady! Who do you think you are, that cat?"
Rising Med Costs Maddening To Seniors!
U.S. seniors tear down wall, barbed wire and tiptoe through mine field between U.S. & Mexico to obtain lower cost medicine...younger brides.
Famous Last Words
Arizona teacher at school insists that Hispanic student tell them all that "There's a tornado coming! I can see it from my desk" in English. "Also, drop the cuss-words."
Saudis Make The First Move
In step to thaw diplomatic relations, Saudi Arabia names ambassador to Iraq. Iraq responds with, "We have a few names for him, ourselves."
Gramps Not Afraid Of Gangs
81-year-old Grandfather in Los Angeles says he's not afraid of the gangs in his neighborhood. He told ABC today that, since his pants are now three times too big for him, they think he's one of them.
Rough Winter Storm Leaves South
Winter storm snarls South, heads out to sea just a snapping and a nipping!
Greek financial crisis deepens
Acropolis to be sold and converted into Premier Inn.
Maya Angelou's Note to Self
"Whatever you do, don't respond to another idiot interviewer about me predicting 2012 as the end of the world."
Thought It Was Stuck
Book on Sharon Tate slaying has rare recordings. One has Charles Manson singing "Ain't No Sunshine When She's Gone" with 487 "I know's" in the middle of the song.
Drunk Has Strange Experience
Drunk in Davies County, Tennessee survives to tell hospital staff about a vision he had of a tunnel and a light coming towards him.
Obama Has A Lot Of Brains
Rick Santorum claims that President Obama supporters are smuggling brains into New Orleans to get ready for the Zombie vote.
Ex-Haitian Drug Lord Could Get Sentence Cut
He won't even have to wear a bracelet or leg band. In Haiti, you simply have to leave a doll of your image at police headquarters.
UK 7 year-old accused of being a racist!
At school a white UK 7 year-old asked his mate if he came from Africa, a teacher overheard the question, accused him of being a racist, banned him from school and now the boy has joined the KKK!
Georgia Commuter Bus Driver Stabbed With Pen
George W. Whitaker tells reporters that he had left his sword in his car. "Of course, what good is a sword against one of those things?"
4.0 Earthquake Hits New Madrid Area
4.0 earthquake in Missouri shakes 9 states. Some damage in Illinois. Several improvements in Kentucky & Tennessee as old cars fall off blocks & finally sold as scrap metal.
John Glenn Anniversary
Astronaut Glenn calls historic flight "best day" of his life. "Although, several times during the flight, I thought it was the LAST day of my life."
Prison Reform Group Also Protesting
Hundreds of anti-Wall Street demonstrators and prison reform activists who joined forces outside the gates of a prison in San Quentin, told "Come on inside and we'll talk this over."
Mardi Gras Underway!
Mardi Gras revelry takes over New Orleans. However, ever since Katrina, very few floats!
ASEAN Poll Observers Still Waiting
Myanmar says will consider ASEAN poll observers. However, Burma still not sure.
Afghan Protestors Anthem
Afghans protest over reported Koran desecration at U.S. base. Many singing old Who song, "Talkin' 'Bout My Desecration" during protests!
Customers Not Too Excited
First test-tube hamburgers ready this fall, say researchers. Predict that burgers will climb at least ten cents each to pay for the test tube.
Dirty Politics?
Republican presidential battle could get messy warns Newt the Poot!
Who Was That Gal?
East Tennessee man, making his monthly trip to the grocery, asks clerk who was that Whitney person from Houston that everybody was mourning?
Another Tribute
Meanwhile, at Disneyland yesterday, the Dancing Bears did a tribute to the late singer, Whitney Houston.
Latest On Metal Thieves
Thieves swiping brass knockers off doors. Many males fear that 'brass monkeys' are next.
Obama Income Down
Obama group raises just $59K in January...and that was for his Al Green imitation.
Wife claims Lord Lucan 'did not flee abroad'
"Your confusing him with 'canoe man' John Darwin" *
* Darwin faked his death in 2002 and was living in Panama until 2007 when he walked into a London police station claiming he had lost his memory
Sarah Palin: an illuminati plant?
Let's face it, she came from nowhere (well Canada really) and she believes that HM Queen Elizabeth controls the Army. Now the truth is in plain sight!
Iran Really, Really Unpredictable!
Iran threatens pre-emptive action. May attack their own nuclear facilities, sink their ships in Gulf.
Especially Slick Around Drive-Through
Driver who ran vehicle into KFC restaurant claims that he hit the slick spot that surrounds the restaurant for thirty feet.
Bailout Helps
EU agrees to $172 billion bailout for Greece. "That should help us until May", says grateful country.
Obama Motto Downgraded From 2008
This time around, Obama 'peddles modest American dream'. "Yes We Do What We Can!" his new motto.
Hillary Goes Green
Didn't get the memo? Hillary Clinton dons lime green shirt for G20 'family photo' while everyone else wears white. "Even her face took on a green shade", says photographer.
BBC Weather Forecasts to Be Aired after the 9 O'clock Watershed
To be on the safe side, BBC weather forecasts which feature Alex Deakin are to be broadcast after the nine o'clock watershed… JUST IN CASE!
Footballs Managerial Merry Go Round (Part 1)
QPR sack Neil Warnock, appoint Mark Hughes.
Leeds sack Simon Grayson appoint Warnock.
Huddersfield sack Lee Clark, appoint Grayson.
Wolves sack Mick McCarthy, appoint... By my logic Lee Clark??
Alex Deakin, BBC Weather Forecaster Uses C Word
Weatherman Alex Deakin was left red-faced today after using the most unacceptable C word in the English dictionary. Inseine News is reliably informed that the word he used was "CLOUDY".