Showing the very latest breaking spoof news snippets. You can use the calendar on the right to browse through the most recent breaking news snippets.

Rating:

Nick Clegg: Lib Dem plan 'for fairer Britain'

Oddly enough, that also happens to be the BNP's plan!

written by Inchcock, 19 May 2012
Rating:

Phoenix-area man hits $1 million jackpot six times!

The Glendale man claimed six $1 million prizes after purchasing six Powerball tickets with the same winning numbers late last month.
He does not want his name revealed!

"I bet he doesn't!"

written by Inchcock, 19 May 2012
Rating:

American lard eaten after 64 years!

A German pensioner received a tin of American lard 64 years ago in an aid package has only just tasted it!

Food safety experts, said the pig fat was still safe to eat.

"American quality you see!"

written by Inchcock, 19 May 2012
Rating:

Wash. man bitten by rattlesnake at Idaho Wal-Mart!

Mica Craig, shopping in the garden department of a Lewiston store when he was bitten Saturday. It latched onto his hand and that he screamed, he managed to shake loose the snake & stomped it to death!

written by Inchcock, 19 May 2012
Rating:

A severed head was a Valentine's gift in Taiwan!

A severed head was a Valentine's gift in 19th Century Taiwan.

Details

written by Inchcock, 19 May 2012
Rating:

Seattle car vandal takes nothing, leaves tortillas!

Bemused by the break-in, police were moved to pun:
"The Seattle Police Department would like to take this opportunity to remind car prowlers that you shouldn't break in to something that's nachos!"

written by Inchcock, 19 May 2012
Rating:

Rangers' Ticketus deal goes Tittus Uppus

The clubs administrators will terminate their contract over future season ticket sales.

Ticketus are owed around £27 million by Craig Whyte.

Good luck recovering the money.

written by Simon Saunders, 18 May 2012
Rating:

Founding editor of Ceefax dies aged 85

For more details go to Ceefax page 120.

Then wait for ten minutes while you go through all the other stories on that page before getting to the one you want.

written by Simon Saunders, 18 May 2012
Rating:

Aston Villa line up Andre Villas-Boas as manager

Salary package includes an Aston martin car and a holiday Villa in the sun.
(So it's not anywhere near Birmingham then)
Transfer targets include French midfielder Yann M-Vila

written by radiogagger, 18 May 2012
Rating:

Facebook valued at $100 billion after NASDAQ launch

The new interim Greek government have sent a friend request to newly wedged billionaire Mark Zuckerberg.

written by radiogagger, 18 May 2012
Rating:

New Biography Claims Obamas Were On Brink Of Divorce

Barrack was going to divorce Michelle and propose to Oprah.

Until someone told him he wasn't Oprah's type...

written by radiogagger, 18 May 2012
Rating:

Facebook go public at $38 per share

The company is now valued at over $100 billion, with Mark Zuckberg's personal stake over $20 billion.

Which means he can finally afford to buy suit and 'chuck the hoodie'

written by radiogagger, 18 May 2012
Rating:

Bratwurst, Bavarian beer and Lederhosen on the Chelsea menu!

Win or lose, Chelsea players have promised to don their lederhosen and knickerbockers, get pissed on Bavarian beer and have the party of a lifetime in Munich; their WAGS are being left at home!

written by Jaggedone, 18 May 2012
Rating:

Sometimes They Come Back!!!!!

Alan Partridge (Steve Coogan) to make a return to SKY TV...god help us all, I thought we had seen the last of this deadbeat would-be-comedian!

written by Herrdoktorfox, 18 May 2012
Rating:

What a stink!

Adele wins another award to add to all the other awards she wins each week...this time it was the ongoing Crap Award for producing a prize dump!

written by Herrdoktorfox, 18 May 2012
Rating:

Cameron upset

"You f...ing mongel, f..ck off!!" cried British PM David Cameron as a car accidently crossed into his path while he was riding his bicycle near Hyde Park in London. Cameron will probably sue them.

written by whatinthe world, 18 May 2012
Rating:

Wossa U boat Grandad?

Commenting on upcoming Queens Jubilee 'boat show' mad London Mayor Boris 'Bonkers' Johnson said: "It will be like Dunkirk"....really Boris, so 30,000 will die while Stukas bomb them then?

written by Herrdoktorfox, 18 May 2012
Rating:

Llama Drama.

After Paul the Octopus at the 2010 World Cup, a football mad llama has been tipped to become the next match-predicting global phenomenon after correctly guessing the result of the FA Cup final.
Lame

written by radiogagger, 18 May 2012
Rating:

The Pain In Spain.

Liverpool striker Luis Suarez has admitted he would welcome the opportunity of playing in Spain.
No word yet on whether he'd take Kenny Dalglish with him as his PR man...

written by radiogagger, 18 May 2012
Rating:

Brendan Rodgers turns down Liverpool interview

Swansea boss Brendan Rodgers is not interested in speaking to Liverpool about their vacant managerial position.
He has told friends joining a club like Liverpool would be a backward step for him.

written by radiogagger, 18 May 2012
Rating:

Truck crashes on NY highway, spills 18 tons of Greek yogurt!

"I hope this doesn't affect the Greek economy too much!"

written by Inchcock, 18 May 2012
Rating:

Inseine's BOOK OF THE DAY 54

"My Life In Crime"

by

Upton O. Goode

written by IN SEINE, 18 May 2012
Rating:

Man wakes up moments before his funeral!

Mourners at the funeral of a 'dead' Egyptian waiter were stunned when he woke up moments before the burial.

Bit like Nick Clegg?

written by Inchcock, 18 May 2012
Rating:

Francois Hollande, has total assets nearing £1million!

Monsieur Francois Hollande, who 'dislikes' the rich - has three homes worth £1million!

"Nearly as much as Cameron's!"

written by Inchcock, 18 May 2012
Rating:

Carrot As Effective As The Stick

Claims Rabbit

written by asphyxiation, 18 May 2012
Rating:

Bank of Odin Robbed, Suspects use hearse as getaway vehicle

Cash with a total amount of ten million dollars was taken from the bank by robbers who were reported to use a hearse from a nearby morgue as a getaway vehicle.

written by Rocko the Zen Wallaby, 18 May 2012
Rating:

Lead Sandwiches Available Elsewhere

Palestinian prisoners on a hunger strike in an Israeli jail reach agreement with the government to stop. If these 1600 Palestinian prisoners were in a Syrian jail they would all have been shot!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 18 May 2012
Rating:

Desperation Mode

The Obama reelection campaign is blaming former President GW Bush for the extinction of the dinosaurs, the lost continent of Atlantis and the eruption of Mount Vesuvius that destroyed Pompeii!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 18 May 2012
Rating:

Old Technology to the Rescue

White House staff BlackBerries are to be replaced with WWII walkie-talkies, contained in back packs, to save money and stop leaks. WH Press Secretary Carney is to carry the presidential units!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 18 May 2012
Rating:

That's Where the Money Is

Maryland's Democratic governor is raising taxes, vice cutting spending. Maryland's 3 million taxpayers are advised to forward all requests for funds to the governor at the state house in Annapolis!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 18 May 2012
Rating:

Get Off My Back and Onto Yours

State unionized employees in Maryland don't want a balanced budget via state spending cuts. They want the Democratic governor to raise taxes on the state's taxpayers to pay for their salary increases!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 18 May 2012
Rating:

Democratic Political Reelection Quiz

President Obama believes in _____. Fill in your answer based on which group the president is currently pandering to, to obtain votes and funding for his reelection campaign!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 18 May 2012
Rating:

Police Issue Following Statement

Don't Stand So

Don't Stand So

Don't Stand So

Close To Me

written by asphyxiation, 18 May 2012
Rating:

NO MORE BREAKING NEWS...

...Sorry our ticker-tape had sna...

written by asphyxiation, 18 May 2012
Rating:

Taggart back on the case

Detective Taggart is back and has taken on his first case of a kleptomaniac who kept all the stuff they stole. After emerging from the house he said: "You know what we have hear? We have a hoarder."

written by IainB, 17 May 2012
Rating:

Top UK nuclear dumping ground Romney Marsh twinned with US wannabe President

Mitt Romney just as toxic

written by queen mudder, 17 May 2012
Rating:

Michigan boy finds finger piece in Arby's sandwich

A spokesman for Arby's apologized saying "That was supposed to be in the chopped salad"

written by JAB, 17 May 2012
Rating:

This Time I Know It's For Real



RIP Donna Summer

written by churchmouse, 17 May 2012
Rating:

Come on down, the price is right!

According to 'Goverment' figures unemployment has dropped by 45,000 in the three months to March...during which time thousands more have lost jobs....watch out for the droppings of those flying pigs!!

written by Herrdoktorfox, 17 May 2012
Rating:

He know's euro!

I never took Cameron for being a Neal Sedaka fan..Dave on the Euro crisis quote:"Breaking up is hard to do"..nice one Dave, get Eddie and Cleggie on backing,and you've got a solid number 1 hit cobber!

written by Herrdoktorfox, 17 May 2012
Rating:

Max Planck's kids flunk out of school

Mathematician, Max Planck's twin children have failed their exams. Teachers put it down to them being small. "There's nothing as thick as two short Plancks," said one teacher.

written by IainB, 17 May 2012
Rating:

BNP never buy smuggled goods

The BNP has announced that it is the most ethical of British political parties, as they will never buy smuggled or counterfeit goods from the Black Market.

written by IainB, 17 May 2012
Rating:

Children strike

Austerity has hit kid's pocket money in recent years, and they have gone on strike over pay and lack of sausages. "It's reminiscent of the 80s," said Teresa May. "There was a minors strike then, too."

written by IainB, 17 May 2012
Rating:

UK Voting intention Poll - 16th May 2012

Labour 44%
Con's 31%
Lib-Dems 7%
UKIP 7%
Others 11%

"Some cheer for Miliband at last?"

written by Inchcock, 17 May 2012
Rating:

Inseine's BOOK OF THE DAY 53

"Winning Her Over with Music"

by

Sarah Nade

written by IN SEINE, 17 May 2012
Rating:

UK Pensions less than the minimum wage!

Cameron very concerned about Greece leaving the Euro!

written by Inchcock, 17 May 2012
Rating:

NHS patients left for 24hrs on trolleys due to spending cuts!

Reporter Bartholomew Utterswaithe asked Cameron for his views:

He replied "Really? Are they?"

written by Inchcock, 17 May 2012
Rating:

Military chiefs furious at 'insulting' order which gags them!

UK Defence Secretary Dr Dr Goebbels bans military chiefs from speaking in public without his permission!

written by Inchcock, 17 May 2012
Rating:

621,452 men are having to work part-time!

The TUC said: 621,452 men are working part-time, able to get a full time job - compared to 215,112 same time last year.

"This figure does not include the MPs who were already working part-time!"

written by Inchcock, 17 May 2012
Rating:

Tory MPs In Gay Marriage Revolt

Tory Back Bench MP quoted as saying;"One Un-Holy alliance is enough"

written by asphyxiation, 17 May 2012
« Apr 2012 May 2012  
Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat Sun
 
1st
19
2nd
25
3rd
31
4th
35
5th
23
6th
13
7th
19
8th
17
9th
35
10th
31
11th
46
12th
18
13th
8
14th
8
15th
33
16th
18
17th
19
18th
28
19th
6
20th
0
21st
0
22nd
0
23rd
0
24th
0
25th
0
26th
0
27th
0
28th
0
29th
0
30th
0
31st
0
 

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 4 multiplied by 3?

7 13 20 12


Go to top ^