Sport Headlines
Don Valley Stadium fights back for Nick Clegg
Despite facing possible closure as a result of government stupidity, Sheffield's Don Valley Stadium has shown its mettle by coming out fighting in order to save Nick Clegg.
A spokesman for the stadium, Donald Valley (no relation) said that while t...
Secret ball boy training revealed as priority for Premier League academies
No wonder the academy system at our top clubs is failing.
The reason? An insider has revealed that all the millions ploughed into the academy system over the last decade has not been invested in developing the England players of the future, as man...
Millwall Fans Split Into Three Factions
Fans of Millwall FC, in trouble recently for fighting amongst themselves at Wembley Stadium, have announced that they have split, not into two warring factions, but three.
The FA Cup semi-final tie against Wigan Athletic was noteworthy, largely, f...
Aston Villa fans praise rapid improvement of team
Fans of Birmingham's biggest professional soccer club today praised the teams massive '100% improvement over the Christmas holiday period.
Following a zero-eight setback against European Champions Chelsea, the London based Russian financed team fr...
'Well it f+++ing well wasn't me, mate!' insists Arsenal FC's Thomas Vermaelen
Rio Ferdinand' New Years' Eve samaritan plea!
Sir Alex Ferguson New Manchester City Manager
World wide Welsh celebrate Swansea Capital One Cup Final win
Man City fan snubs £62 Arsenal ticket to feed family for a week
A disgruntled Manchester City fan today proudly announced his family will 'eat like royalty for a week' after he decided not to pay the outrageous price of £62 to watch 90 minutes of football at the Emirates Stadium in 'that there London'.
Manches...
United's Vidic celebrates no dismissal v rivals Liverpool
Nemanja Vidic, who has been previously sent off three times against Manchester United's arch rivals Liverpool, today celebrated NOT being shown a red card as United edged their way to a 2-1 victory over the Anfield outfit.
Serbian international V...
Eden Hazard admits, "I did not kick that boy, I only kicked his balls!"
Chelsea player, Eden Hazard, after being vilified in today's tabloids after an incident involving a 17 year-old Swansea ball boy, has admitted that he didn't kick the boy, only his balls!
The ball boy purposely rolled all over the ball attempting...
Wayne Rooney confirmed with rabies in Montenegro!
Wayne Rooney has been diagnosed with rabies after foaming at the mouth during a training session before tonights very important game against Montenegro.
A stray dog was warming up when it suddenly took a bit out of Rooney's rear end and thinking n...
History of Cross Dressing - part 1
Cross dressing in ancient times, before the invention of gender specific clothing, mainly involved shaving off the beard. This was considered a perversion by those who liked facial hair.
Shebby Singh explains 'Global Advisor' role at Blackburn Rovers
Blackburn Rovers Global Advisor Shebby Singh broke his silence today to explain what his job title actually means.
Speaking to Robbie Savage on BBC radio phone-in 606 (nicknamed moan-o-moan in the football industry) he finally revealed the answer...
Lance Armstrong Only Cheating Himself - Claim
Lance Armstrong, the 7-time Tour de France winner who, it's been revealed, achieved his victories with the help of banned drugs, is only cheating himself, writes spoof cycling correspondent Moys Kenwood.
Armstrong used a cocktail of banned substan...
Ferguson is Sith Lord, FA report finds
A report by the Football Association has accidentally stumbled across information indicating that Sir Alex Ferguson is a Sith.
The governing body was forced to launch an inquiry after various premiership clubs alleged that he had the ability to in...
American Football roundup
It's the biggest game in North American football - the finale to the American footballing season to decide who will win the Superb Owl. This year, it was an exciting game between the North Dakota Donkeys and Alaska 362, who both had tough semi-final...
Rafa Benitez 'has a dossier on every single Chelsea fan'
Rafa 'mad dog' Benitez was expected to be seen at Stamford Bridge for the last time this morning to clear his desk following his bizarre rant at Wednesday nights press conference after the 2-0 win over Middlesbrough in the FA Cup.
The fat Spaniard...
FA Cup Roundup
There were numerous shocks in the fourth round of the FA cup this weekend. One of the biggest surprises came from a team who are not only non-league, but non-English. Newcomers Calais Escargot beat London Team Number 43 by 2-1 to become the first for...
Gold for the Irons
West Ham have won something! This staggering news was met by shcoked fans who were ready to moan at the latest inept display.
Porn star Davinia Gold celebrated the victory of the Hammers getting their feet into the Olympic stadium by revealing all...
Steve McClaren Sacked Over Language Barrier
Former England manager Steve McClaren has left his role as coach of the Dutch club FC Twente the day after holding talks with chairman Joop Munsterman over what the latter called 'language difficulties'.
Munsterman said:
"We can't understand hi...
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