Funny story:  Brucie's "Strictly" Retirement Halted as Replacement  Mickey Rooney Dies

Brucie's "Strictly" Retirement Halted as Replacement Mickey Rooney Dies

Much loved Glitz loving Mickey Rooney has died at 93 after an unparalleled career in Showbiz. Rumours that Brucie's retirement from mainstream Chickfest "Strictly" is now on hold after Alex Ferguson's sulky withdrawal from the running are being denie...
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On David Cameron's "Green Crap"

David Cameron has welcomed the latest UN predictions on climate change. In a break from his busy schedule visiting the toilets at Bognor Regis he gave an exclusive interview to your fearless reporter. 'Let me say, first of all, that Bognor Regis c...
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Alien Neighbours Pop Around to Borrow a Cup of Sugar

An Alien from Alpha Centauri, our nearest Alien Colony popped in to Buckingham Palace this morning to borrow a cup of sugar. The Alien then sped off in his flying saucer as the Queen waved and blew a kiss. The Alien neighbours are apparently not nois...
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Funny story:  E.U.  Welsh Speed Trap Satellite Launched by Giant Soyuz Rocket

E.U. Welsh Speed Trap Satellite Launched by Giant Soyuz Rocket

The first of a series of hyperlinked geostationary Welsh speed traps was positioned by a Russian Soyuz Rocket yesterday. The "Sentinel" global orbit Police radar speed cameras will supplement the sneaky Welsh Speed traps which provide most people's...
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Funny story:  Auntie Beryl Accidentally killed as U.S. Drone Brings down Aircraft carrying Kim Jong Un's Ambassador for Scotland

Auntie Beryl Accidentally killed as U.S. Drone Brings down Aircraft carrying Kim Jong Un's Ambassador for Scotland

Drones monitoring possible post Scottish Independence alliances have accidentally killed Kim Jong Un's Ambassador to Independent Scotland, Auntie Beryl Un II. President Obama today apologised for the tragic error, saying that U.S. sympathies at rhis...
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Government orders pussy cull as badgers abandon spreading TB

Barking, London - Cats are being blamed for spreading tuberculosis following a public outcry at a badger cull that did little to stop the spread of the disease. Ministry officials handling the outbreak said that a dozen cases of Mycobacterium bovi...
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World Record £50 Million Sotheby's Auction Price Paid for Stradivarius Bagpipes

One of the world's most amazing musical instrument finds ever, yesterday sold for £50 million in a Sotheby's auction. One of only 15 sets of bagpipes ever made by Antonio Stradivari was uncovered in a tea chest in the back room of a Glasgow council...
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Funny story:  Nigella Turned Back at Airport - but Visa then granted America's Purity and Morality Saved Just in Time

Nigella Turned Back at Airport - but Visa then granted America's Purity and Morality Saved Just in Time

A legitimate online flight booking to L. A. by F.B.I's most wanted T.V. cook Nigella Lawson was used to alert Captain America yesterday. The Superhero swooped down to confront and humiliate the highly lethal English Lady. With nothing better to...
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Breaking News...

Vatican Closes Down Miracle Response Units (M.R.U.s)

Fifty Miracle Squads are to be closed from January 2015 due to loss of laundering revenue. Changes in Laundry rules have forced laundering to be done by nuns. Miracle numbers will be issued by phone.
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Funny story:  Why it's getting harder to back a winner

Why it's getting harder to back a winner

Aintree ought to be buzzing with anticipation of todays Grand National, but instead there are disturbing claims that many of the entrants are hooked on recreational drugs. And we don't mean the jockeys, we mean the HORSES! Rumours of horses takin...
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Funny story:  Prison of the Mind

Prison of the Mind

Voting, voluntary exercise, not voiding one's bowels in public, all rights when loses when incarcerated. Some may be more reasonable than others but that is how the prison is designed. One thing prisoners could aways do however is read. Attendant wit...
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Funny story:  Tips for the Successful Arse-Hole

Tips for the Successful Arse-Hole

Journalism students take note! Famed BBC presenter Huw Edwards, recipient of BAFTAs and presenter of the Six O'Clock news and the BBC's News at Ten since 2004, has published his Ten Top Tips on how to do what he does. Among the obvious advice are...
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Funny story:  Dead Sea scrolls contradict Cameron.

Dead Sea scrolls contradict Cameron.

Scholars at the Shrine of the Book museum in Jerusalem were shocked today when a fragment of the dead sea scrolls being studied for the first time under ultraviolet light stated that Jesus did not invent The Big Society and in no way condones the act...
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Funny story:  Poll surprise for Spoof

Poll surprise for Spoof

The In/Out debate on national television between the Spoof's Joshua Witt and Clement Legg of the Limp Dems has ended in a surprise response in opinion poll ratings taken after the programme. Spoof got 70% to Legg's 30%. Witt had argued that it was...
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Funny story:  Vatican Visit - Queen Arrested for Money Laundering

Vatican Visit - Queen Arrested for Money Laundering

The Queen was briefly interviewed by the Spanish Inquisition during the Royal Vatican Inspection last week it was revealed. After arriving at The Vatican with twelve articulated trucks full of dirty money and 4 Transits full of bedraggled swans inten...
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Funny story:  Cyril Smith Was Not Fat - B.M.A. Report Shocker

Cyril Smith Was Not Fat - B.M.A. Report Shocker

Quirky deceased Rochdale Liberal M.P. Cyril Smith was not fat according to a report commisioned by the Dead Politicians Research Committee. Investigations into his death reveal that he was simply not as tall as he should have been. Cyril should ha...
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Funny story:  Welsh Independence Referendum Imminent After Feeling Miffed about Attention Given to Scottish Independence

Welsh Independence Referendum Imminent After Feeling Miffed about Attention Given to Scottish Independence

Welsh Nationalist Politicians are sulking and not looking at Sky and BBC News because Alex Salmond is now "Mr. Big Pants", according to the Newspaper, CumruCwyddfyddarcfarchnidd Evening Tribune. A spokesperson in hiding at Rhyll Eisteddfodd told...
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Jack Van Gump
Jack Van Gump
Joined: 21 May 2004
Stories Written: 9

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