Funny story:  Health & Safety Breakthrough

Health & Safety Breakthrough

Following the example of Bangladesh the British Government is setting out it's programme to cut out regulation and red tape. David Cameron announced his proposals to outdo UKIP at the local elections. Senior Tories think he is onto a huge vote win...
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Accident & Emergency

Unfortunately the Prime Minister was unable to attend House of Commons Questions for the sixth week running due to an unavoidable incident. 'I was finding my in growing toe nail on my right foot had become unbearable' Cameron explained 'so I had t...
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German comics union claim damages from the UK

The German Comedians Union are to bring a case before the European Union claiming defamation by generations of British comedians. In the case they state that for years the British said that their comedy was far superior to German comedy and that Germ...
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Funny story:  Dorking Marathon cancelled

Dorking Marathon cancelled

Following a series of embarrassing incidents, Dorking Marathon has been forced to cancel this year. The final straw came yesterday when the last remaining sponsor United International Armament Suppliers withdrew their support saying, "We do not wish...
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Funny story:  Mystery solved by anonymous person

Mystery solved by anonymous person

London, England. In the most bizarre and astonishing news to break in history, a self employed sewage disposal worker has solved one of the the universe's most famous mysteries: why the earth rotates on its axis. The individual, who asked to remain n...
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Mail Works A Miracle

The Daily Mail is being praised by many for its contribution to uniting the Radical Left in Britain. This seemingly impossible task, clearly influenced by a special Iron Lady Spell, has made comrades of people who normally would cross the road rather...
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Rod Hull is still alive and in witness protection

Former Children's TV presenter Rod Hull, the owner of Emu and the curliest hair on television is not dead. According to the history books, Rod Hull fell off the roof of his house while adjusting the aerial on his roof. "When we came up with tha...
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Funny story:  Spring unapologetic for striking over temperature cuts

Spring unapologetic for striking over temperature cuts

Spring has refused to apologise for going on strike in Britain this year, instead citing immigrants, an unfortunate bout of Hepatitis B and government temperature cuts as a valid excuse for no longer giving a fuck whether elderly couples can drink Pi...
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Breaking News...

Cameron relived by Terrorist attack

It means that the news of his capitulation on Corporation Tax after Google threaten to pull their £4.5m donation from the Tories.
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Funny story:  Margaret Thatcher Coffin To Be Fired Into Deep Space

Margaret Thatcher Coffin To Be Fired Into Deep Space

The coffin of former British Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher, who died a few days ago, is to be launched into Deep Space after her funeral, it has been claimed by me. Thatcher, who was "highly thought-of" in mining circles, was the first woman to...
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Funny story:  Iain Duncan Smith, tows party line, too scared to lose grey vote.

Iain Duncan Smith, tows party line, too scared to lose grey vote.

In a small article buried in between the adverts for fur lined microwave booties and comfy corduroy slacks in this months Grey Express, Iain Duncan Smith (IDS) has said that the elderly should hand back their benefits money. Of this IDS has said 'um,...
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Funny story:  Motor cars in UK getting bigger

Motor cars in UK getting bigger

The average size of a family motor car in Britain has increased by over 30 per cent during the first three months of this year, according to road surveys carried out by teams of weight watchers and nosey-parkers. In 2011 and 2012, the average car...
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Funny story:  Gateshead Couple Fall on Hard Times

Gateshead Couple Fall on Hard Times

A middle-aged couple are recovering in hospital after a freak accident on their local high street. George and Florence Sellers tripped over a tightly bound parcel of newspapers which had been left for them outside their newsagents shop. They fell...
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Funny story:  Prisoners to be stripped under new jail reforms

Prisoners to be stripped under new jail reforms

The Justice Secretary has today announced prison reforms in a bid to cut down waiting lists. Prisoners will no longer automatically receive perks such as clothing and absorbent toilet paper. Initially the prisoners will have to parade naked under...
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Funny story:  Man divorces parrot after relationship breakdown

Man divorces parrot after relationship breakdown

Liverpool, UK. In astonishing news just beginning to break (we think),a middle aged gentleman has been granted a divorce from his seven year old parrot;yes, a parrot. The unprecedented event occurred only a few hours ago and more details are emerging...
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Funny story:  Did paedo Savile have his very own Cleveland-style dungeon?

Did paedo Savile have his very own Cleveland-style dungeon?

London - Professional profilers analyzing serial monster Jimmy Savile's depraved 60-year rampage are asking the inevitable, 'just how really bad was this bastard?' A confidential briefing this week will see sleuths from the Met's Serious & Or...
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Funny story:  The Queen Feeling 'Unwell'

The Queen Feeling 'Unwell'

The health of the Queen has become problematically only days before the funeral of Margaret Thatcher. It was thought the Queen had caught measles and that it was spreading throughout the Royal family, but Dr Ian Knowall has advised us that the only k...
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Andy Tattersall
Andy Tattersall
Joined: 27 January 2004
Stories Written: 8

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