Funny story:  Snout-in-the-trough sleaze bag Maria Miller 'a national effing disgrace'

Snout-in-the-trough sleaze bag Maria Miller 'a national effing disgrace'

London - That's the message from the House of Commons HMS Titanic Bar tonight where 95% of Parliamentarians are 99.9% pissed. And the remaining five percent too congenitally stupid to see a bloody great big iceberg called Maria Miller about to com...
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Pledge to Make Whiskey Taste Nice if Scots Win Independence Vote

A pledge has been made by Jacobite, Alexei Salmon to make Scotch Whiskey palatable if he is crowned King of Scotland after the Independence vote. Scotland's nasty National beverage which was once used to induce vomiting after cases of poisoning wi...
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Giant axis found in shopping centre

Shoppers at Gateshead's largest shopping centre had to leave hurriedly when the centre began to spin around faster than usual. A team of retail scientists specializing in shopping centres rushed to the scene, and pinpointed the exact centre of the...
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Funny story:  Government orders pussy cull as badgers abandon spreading TB

Government orders pussy cull as badgers abandon spreading TB

Barking, London - Cats are being blamed for spreading tuberculosis following a public outcry at a badger cull that did little to stop the spread of the disease. Ministry officials handling the outbreak said that a dozen cases of Mycobacterium bovi...
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Funny story:  E.U. - Now You Can't Swat Scottish Midges - Has the World Gone Bureaucracy Mad ?

E.U. - Now You Can't Swat Scottish Midges - Has the World Gone Bureaucracy Mad ?

After Scotland is removed from the U.K. and is pronounced independent, E.U. conservation rules will come into force to protect all Scottish insects, particularly the Highland Midge or Gnat. E.U. police will stand next to roadside Pipers with the powe...
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Alex Ferguson Will Replace Bruce Forsyth As New Strictly Come Dancing Host

The BBC moved quickly today by immediately appointing angry pensioner and former Manchester United manager Alex Ferguson as the new co-host of Strictly Come Dancing. The announcement follows the decision of Bruce Forsyth to step down after ten years.
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Adorable Royal Baby George Shoots Terrorists and earns 30 Medals on First Day of Tour of Duty in Afghanistan

"Attaboy" Royal Baby Hero Prince George has already gained as many medals as the Duke of Edinburgh and Saddam Hussein combined after a successful first day of duty in a combat helicopter on the front line. According to sources, he shot three terr...
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Funny story:  Tips for the Successful Arse-Hole

Tips for the Successful Arse-Hole

Journalism students take note! Famed BBC presenter Huw Edwards, recipient of BAFTAs and presenter of the Six O'Clock news and the BBC's News at Ten since 2004, has published his Ten Top Tips on how to do what he does. Among the obvious advice are...
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Gerry and The Pacemakers cancel proposed South Korean tour out of respect.
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Funny story:  Auntie Beryl Accidentally killed as U.S. Drone Brings down Aircraft carrying Kim Jong Un's Ambassador for Scotland

Auntie Beryl Accidentally killed as U.S. Drone Brings down Aircraft carrying Kim Jong Un's Ambassador for Scotland

Drones monitoring possible post Scottish Independence alliances have accidentally killed Kim Jong Un's Ambassador to Independent Scotland, Auntie Beryl Un II. President Obama today apologised for the tragic error, saying that U.S. sympathies at rhis...
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Funny story:  Depressed Peat Bog Diagnosed as Paranoid Schizophrenic

Depressed Peat Bog Diagnosed as Paranoid Schizophrenic

The Post Glacial Depressed Peat Bog at Craig-y-Llyn in Glamorgan, Wales has been recently undergoing treatment for acute depression. A second opinion from psycho-phytologist, Denise R. Scuft indicated a deep rooted schizm of the anterior sphagnatum.
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Funny story:  A Home For Every Heart

A Home For Every Heart

Houses are important. We all need houses of some sort, to keep from getting cold and have somewhere to cook and wash. Sadly not everyone has a house and not just in those sad, charity commercial countries where pianist follow staving children aro...
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Funny story:  Culture Vulture

Culture Vulture

There was trouble at mill as the Culture Vulture, who nobody loves, Maria Miller, threw in the towel after ten rounds of her heavy weight bout with her supporters at the highly esteemed Mail and Telegraph. She suffered severe wounding to her pride...
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Funny story:  Boris to Clone Hitlers to make new London Traffic Wardens

Boris to Clone Hitlers to make new London Traffic Wardens

Boris Jackson has begun production of Hitler clones that will pull in more revenue from the London Councils. The Councils, which generate an income of £70 million from parking crimes, can double this with the new clones according to Boris. He belie...
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Funny story:  Vatican Visit - Queen Arrested for Money Laundering

Vatican Visit - Queen Arrested for Money Laundering

The Queen was briefly interviewed by the Spanish Inquisition during the Royal Vatican Inspection last week it was revealed. After arriving at The Vatican with twelve articulated trucks full of dirty money and 4 Transits full of bedraggled swans inten...
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Funny story:  Dead Paedophile Sir Jim to Spin Discs at Dead Paedophile Concert

Dead Paedophile Sir Jim to Spin Discs at Dead Paedophile Concert

Impressarios have been queuing up to put on a Hi-Tech Hologram Show featuring a posthumous album release by a dead druggie paedophile. The paedophile cannot be named as his family sue the ass off anything that moves. Leading Necro-pervert D.J. S...
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Funny story:  Strictly Not Ageist - Brucie Bows Out   (Well Sort Of. . )

Strictly Not Ageist - Brucie Bows Out (Well Sort Of. . )

Producers of "Strictly" are desperate not to appear to have pressurised old Bruce Forsyth to go into semi retirement. "I always said to myself I'd know when the time came when it was time to go". He reminisced last week. "Could you face bingo and day...
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Farida Benamar
Farida Benamar
Joined: 17 July 2008
Stories Written: 32

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