Written by Ricardo Blue
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Wednesday, 25 January 2012

Antony Worrall Thompson has sought the aid of the maestro and undisputed king of the dead Derek Acorah it was disclosed yesterday as part of his defence in the recent shop lifting debacle.

Derek, renowned for his skill in communicating with the deceased as well as his ability to regress people back to a time when they were actually somebody else, asked for Derek's help in explaining as to why he would do something so out of character with that of a millionaire celebrity chef.

After just a 2 hour session with Derek and £4,500 of Mr Thompson's money, Derek concluded the reason for Worrall's actions were due to the fact that in a previous life he had been no other than the notorious outlaw Dick Turpin.

"It's such a relief" explained the sweaty red faced chef "for a moment I thought I was going mad. All the signs were there from the beginning, it just took someone of Derek's capabilities to piece them all together"

"The fact that my favourite vegetable is a turnip which is coincidently an anagram of Turpin should have started my alarm bells ringing, combine that with my obsession of riding the black mechanical horse situated outside the store on a daily basis and it suddenly becomes as clear as daylight robbery if you pardon the pun."

Jewish lawyer and representative to the stars Cohen Shyster, who is defending Mr Thompson said today "This is a giant leap forward in terms of British case law and if we can convince the judge and jury of Mr Thompson's innocence by using Derek's regression techniques then it will definitely be a line of defence that I will be offering other clients. It's a shame I wasn't aware of Derek's ability before now, as it would have been most beneficial in the Lindsay Lohan case."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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