Residents of New York City's Union Square area were delighted when a new Starbucks store opened up inside Union Square's already-existing Starbucks.
Sean Kingsley, a graduate film student at nearby New York University, said that the opening of the...
In a move that horrified her spiritually-minded friends, 32-year-old Kim Lewiston, who resides in New York's East Village, decided to take a crappy job in order to pay her mounting bills.
The decision did not come easily to Kim, who's always been...
Detroit MI: The Apex Parts Corporation (APC) manufactures parts for all types of commercial vehicles and heavy equipment at locations around the world. APC won a multi-million dollar contract from one of Detroit's big three automakers to design and...
Local woman, Elizabeth Potter, will be the first person to actually marry a corporation. The Supreme Court ruled that corporations have the same rights and responsibilities as a person.
Potter states that her marriage to Apple, Inc will help en...
No, no, really (he says, doing his very best, over-the-top, under-the-weather Ricky Gervais). Bear with me for a sec. If those who advocate for corporations to be persons (*cough* *hack* -- the 1%) follow through consistently with their political beliefs (granted, with Gingrich and Romney as standard-bearers, not very likely - but this is my satirical piece, so let me finish)
Anyways, if corp...
A new website is being launched to ensure the many thousands of sweat shop workers whose efforts in subsidising the profits of multi-national corporations around the globe, are not wasted in a blither of fake goods.
The website, called Brand-i, a...
David Cameron today confirmed that Tony Montana would be employed by the government in a drive to increase import and export figures for the UK.
The self styled Cuban Mafia Man is said to have accepted the role that Lord Alan Sugar was un-able to...
Saying ' from now on just call me "Inc", $320K a week shagger Wayne Rooney announced his name change at a press conference at a local high end exotic car dealership where he was 'window shopping."
"Wayne Inc" has a certain ring to it,' said the sm...
Lastima, Chile-- The rescued Chilean miners received an unpleasant shock from their company today, after they reached the surface. The miners for the XYZ Company were met by the head of the Personnel Department and presented with pink slips. All th...
'The Man', faceless entity of many souless corporations the world over, sensationally came out last night and said he was 'sick and tired of being damned'.
"Whenever something goes wrong," he crooned "I get blamed. Prices go up, damn The Man! No p...
Mission statements are a modern attempt to give meaning and a face to a corporation's work in its never ending pursuit of profits. They are a statement on a business's real intents and purposes. Supposedly. The problem is that the face it makes is lopsided and the meaning is muddled. If they were to say what their real intents and interests are, they would probably look something like this:
To...
In Greek mythology, Peitho, a female, was the goddess of persuasion and seduction; now, men, like Ross Jeffries, are the gods of seduction. In the past, brave, down-to-earth men were the leaders of their societies; now, good-for-nothing hypocrites, sponsored by CEOs of large corporations, are in charge of the world.
Corporations have, for several years, sponsored athletic events and named stadiums after themselves. Jack Murphy Stadium, named for a famous sports figure in San Diego history, became Qualcomm Stadium when that company offered millions to the city t...
New York - The McDonald's and Monsanto corporations announced today that they have reached agreement on terms leading to a merger of the two industry leaders. The new entity, to be called "McSanto", will be a "comp...
San Francisco - In a mixed decision a Federal court decided yesterday that a person can have the same rights as a corporation, setting up likely conflicts for years to come. The ruling "attempts to right the imbalance of power c...
Oil giant ExxonMobil has agreed to purchase the United States Military for $100 Million-trillion in a combined cash and stock purchase.
OAK BROOK, IL - McDonald's executives today confirmed that sales of the company's new Chicken Selects chicken breast strips are down following their being banned by several major US corporations. The bans have been sparked by several instances of vi...
Bentonville -- In response to the needs of big corporations like Wal-Mart and UPS, this nation's truckers are required to drive as many as 11 hours in a single shift, and be out on the road six days out of seven. But they're not complainin...
