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North Korea Seeks Joint Probe With US On Sony Hack'Grave consequences will follow if America rejects our inquiry plan,' said Pyongyang, 'or if they screen "The Interview" or do anything that leads Kim Jong-un to stamp his feet and throw a tantrum.'
Christmas Shoppers Spend £1.2bn On 'Panic Saturday'Retailers are bracing themselves for a final shopping onslaught on Christmas Eve or 'Oh my God, it's Christmas Day tomorrow, why didn't anybody warn me?' Wednesday.
ISLE OF WIGHT NEWSInvasion of French Clams smells of garlic . ''And I dare say they they're promiscuous too '', says local who's never been to France.
Santa's a git , says embittered brother'He sees you when you're sleeping, knows when you're awake,been bad or good , total Control Freak'', says Darren Claus
Queen freaks Dame Helen outThe Queen's voice has been dubbed over Helen Minner's , in a box set DVD of 'Prime Suspect'. MI5 puts it all down to
'A Palace Butler in need of funds'
Christmas Day Soaps to feature dramatic non - eventsEastenders Christmas Episodes will break ground this year. No-one will be murdered or return from the dead....instead there will be Scrabble - Based tiffs, a trifle - induced tantrum and a Power - Cut
Richard the 3rd jock strap foundRichard the 3rds jock strap has been discovered in an ASDA drain. The find proves that Royalty are, in fact, human and have nether regions, just like Commoners.
Hogwarts Academy Hires Bill Cosby as New Potions TeacherHarry Potter's school, the Hogwarts Academy, has announced that they will be hiring Bill Cosby as their new potions master."Dr. Cosby has been known to cook up some mean potions!" said the Headmaster.
Christmas Truce will feature footballFootball Clubs all over England will stop the inaction and boredom of a typical match and devote 20 mins to the game actually being played. Dec 2014
Vladimir Putin in Red ChairMr Putin took a night flight ,thinking it was to bring him to Red Square. Instead he found himself in Graham Norton's Red Chair, London. His story of Selfies in a Minsk toilet dlighted the audience
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