Faded Spotlight Magazine Presents...
U.S. POLITICOS: WHERE ARE THEY NOW?
Mitt Romney - The old Flip-Flopper, who got trounced in the 2012 presidential election by President Barack Obama, is seriously considering moving down to Mexico and living with one of his cousins who owns a piñata factory.
Ron Paul - The 77-year-old congressman from Texas is living in the Lone Star state and trying t...
BOISE, Idaho - Ann Coulter was in town speaking at the Mashed Potatoes Arena before a group of frustrated Republicans who hate the mess that Mitt Romney, Paul Ryan, and especially Sarah Palin have put the GOP in.
The Republican maven was asked wha...
WASHINGTON, D.C. - President Obama is smiling from ear-to-ear after having made an NBA bet with the man he defeated in the 2012 presidential election, Mitt Romney.
President Obama said that he was sitting in the backyard at the White House enjoyin...
COWPATH, Iowa (ABSNN) - An "apparently" booze filled, 87-year-old WWII veteran playing Santa, exploded Sunday afternoon, killing himself, and injuring 27 men and women who were waiting in line to have their pictures taken in his lap. According to on...
Defeated Presidential candidate Mitt Romney has been accused of being something of a sore loser recently. First he claimed that Obama won the election due to giving gifts to Latino and African American voters. Even a man who had the Romney/Ryan logo...
VENICE BEACH - Lindsay Lohan says she watched the Internet video of Angus T. Jones badmouthing Two and A Half Men, the show that pays him an astounding $350,000 a week just to utter a few lines that any 19-year-old boy in the good old USA could do.
San Diego, CA - Mitt Romney slouched in his overstuffed chair at Boston's Fairmont Hotel on election night, watching the results come in on Fox news. Aids pandered him with praise and false patronage, as his chances of world domination slipped throug...
According to Indian sources, bored with post election-loosing movie hopping and pumping his own gas, Mitt flipped Disney Land for a tidy profit today.
All personnel will be replaced with robots controlled from New Delhi, India. The Indian gover...
London - "Looks like ET was planning on flooding the world with hundreds of General Petraeus lookalikes and Mitt Romney clones," the head of the UK Diplomatic Protection Racket Corps said today as the news broke, "we even found their original Paula...
You can't stop this guy.
After parleying the biggest chunk of cash ever spent on a presidential election into a losing lottery ticket, Mr. Romney has powerballed his way into the Kalamazoo, MI, Wal-Mart to spend his Thursday nite paving the way...
Washington, DC - Satirical writers from around the country gathered in a candlelight vigil at the base of that big stone penisy thing, in the middle of Washington DC, to say goodbye to yet another Republican Presidential candidate that provided more...
Presidential candidate Mitt "Ragtime" Romney and his VP running mate Paul "Slowhand" Ryan are once again jumping in the bus and heading out onto the highways of the United States of America.
However, what is more surprising, is that this time they...
Washington DC - In an odd bit of leakage from the side that lost the election, it has been revealed how Mitt will win the 2016 election.
His new spokesperson, the deaf, dumb, and blind Mr. C. Noeveel, has revealed at a press conference this aftern...
Washington DC - In a desparate attempt to avoid banishment and deportation, Romney has switched his position once again. Rather than spouting "I stand by what I said what ever it was", he is saying "I reject what I said what ever it was."
Other s...
BOSTON - Ann Romney, wife of Mitt Romney, was in the city known by chefs throughout America as Bean Town.
She had come to Boston on a winter shoe buying spree. Mrs Romney was asked by Asburn Wasabi with The Right Coast Illustrated Revue how her h...
Here are some statements, comments, quotes, observations, and remarks that some noted politicians and non-politicians have recently stated regarding the recent presidential election.
Mitt Romney - "Well it sure looks like I wasted millions and millions of my own damn money for nothing, absolutely nothing."
Newt Gingrich - "My goodness, the Democrats came out of the friggin woodwork and R...
FLAGSTAFF, Arizona - A spokesperson for The Tea Bag Party who spoke on grounds of anonymity stated that their is some big time trouble brewing within the Tea Bag Party (no pun intended).
The unnamed source informed GOPicky Magazine that since the...
Castor oil, Fox News, MSNBC, and nekkid chicks on air!
When I was a young kid, I knew better than to tell my Dad that I had a belly-ache. I knew better because I knew what my Dad would do if I told him my gut hurt. He was an old school mountain farmer: he used plant extracts he called "Lightning Hot drops," or, if he was a bit hung over, he used the all-time, get-even-with-your-children, gut-...
