LONDON - A member of the Swiss soccer team, Michel "Mohawk" Morganella has been expelled from further participation in the London Olympics and sent home.
The Swiss team lost to the South Korean team 2-1 on Sunday. And on Sunday night the 23-year-o...
SWITZERLAND - The giant underground dangerous machine that may turn the earth into a black hole has given mankind some dividend, finally. After spending trillions of bailout money on the project, there is finally a use for the spin-off technology.
Scientists were simultaneously elated and confounded over the recent discovery of the smallest particle in the universe, as produced from the $10 Billion Proton Collider on the Swiss/French border. The source for all other particle creation, also de...
England manager Fabio Capello has ordered his players to let Switzerland "have some" in the Euro 2012 qualifier.
Switzerland is famous for having spawned Sepp Blatter and for making cheese with holes in it.
Capello is tipping in form striker Da...
Despite a national campaign to reign back on "suicide tourism", Swiss voters have resisted calls to prohibit assisted suicide for non residents.
And the Swiss government is unveiling plans to make things easier for individuals considering travelli...
Despite a disastrous World Cup 2010 campaign and an even worse league season with recently relegated West Ham, Robert "Oops" Green has been recalled to the England squad for the Euro qualifier against Switzerland.
Swiss boss Ottmar Hitzfeld has ac...
The so-called Large Hadron Collider, buried deep underground somewhere in Switzerland finally proved its worth yesterday when at 4.21 pm in the afternoon (GMT) it collided with a large hadron.
A loud cheer rang through the echoing caverns - this w...
BERN, Switzerland - Swiss President Micheline Anne Marie Calmy-Rey, aka "The Empress of The Alps" has stated on the record that she has given the go ahead for her country to proceed with plans to invade the African country of Egypt.
President Calm...
Switzerland - Thousands of people crowded the streets protesting to the Federal Council about Swiss Cheese. The protests are due to the rather sudden realization by Swiss citizens that Swiss cheese is...full of holes.
"I guess I've always sort of...
Following on the heels of the rescue of 33 miners in Peru on Friday, word has reached the world that more than 2500 Swiss workers were finally allowed to come out of the darkened tunnels below the Swiss Alps, where they had been toiling for over 14 y...
Pedo, Switzerland-- Infamous director Roman Polanski is back behind the cameras and ready to begin a new movie about Heidi. The diminutive dork will direct a new movie about the legendary little Swiss girl. Mr. Polanski says the movie is "his gift...
ZURICH - Swiss Justice Minister Eveline Widmer-Schlumpf, which is Swiss for chickensh*t, has announced that she has decided not to extradite child molester Roman Polanski to America, and to grant him his full freedom instead.
Widner-Chump stated t...
Zurich - (RIP mess): For decades the Dignit-arse Clinic of Zurich has prided itself on its funeral parlor pledge of beautiful endings in tasteful surroundings.
Last weekend police divers were called out to Lake Zurich after some crab fishermen ina...
The Earth's warming and consequent melting of glaciers high atop the Swiss Alps has led to huge amounts of prehistoric junk being exposed.
Once thought to be pristine in their natural beauty, the previously snow covered mountains are now being re...
Daffy Duck, military dictator of Libya and a star of Looney Toons, has called for a jihad against Switzerland. Yes, Switzerland!
In a rambling and baffling speech Daffy said "We will stop all cuckoo clocks from being sold. No chocolate shall be a...
There's mounting anger in Hollywood tonight, as liberals, enraged by the decision of the Swiss to ban minarets, have announced they will take firm action against the 'rogue nation'.
Already 5,000 celebrities have signed a petition demanding that Rom...
ZURICH, Switzerland - The Swiss judge who is handling the Roman Polanski arrest case, Judge Ruti Schaffhausen, has come out and told Roman Polanski's attorney Burgdorf Zingen that not only is he denying his client bail, but he will also be imposing a...
Yesterday, in one of the most shocking international incidents in recent times Switzerland invaded France.
The invasion has been justified by Pascal Couchpotato, Bundespräsident, as a pre-emptive strike designed to relieve the pressure on Swiss...
