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Funny satire stories about Usain Bolt

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Funny story:  Prince Harry caught naked in showers with Usain Bolt

Prince Harry caught naked in showers with Usain Bolt

Photos emerged last night on a leading entertainment website of bonny Prince Harry completely naked in the showers with Double Double Olympic Gold medallist Insane Bolt. The Palace blocked usage of the images in local paper The Windsor Times, but...
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Funny story:  Olympic chiefs extend length of 100 metres to maximise TV rights

Olympic chiefs extend length of 100 metres to maximise TV rights

Olympic bosses are secretly planning to extend the length of the 100 metres race to make more cash from TV broadcasting rights. As athletes continue to snip fractions off the winning time over recent years, broadcasters are offering less cash for...
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Funny story:  Martin Shuttlecock's Letters From Barcelona - Day Six - Usain Bolt And The Magic Fountains

Martin Shuttlecock's Letters From Barcelona - Day Six - Usain Bolt And The Magic Fountains

Barcelona - El Raval - Sunday: Another hot sunny Sunday in the Catalan capital. For the Shuttlecock clan, there was much to anticipate, for Sunday evenings are traditionally the best times to see the Magic Fountain on the olympic hill of Montjuic in all their spectacular glory. The whole clan were raring to go, and wallow in the Magic Fountain's musical lightshow. All that is, except Mart...
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Funny story:  Tool catalogue people now in on act with Olympics

Tool catalogue people now in on act with Olympics

The makers of a popular little catalogue of working tools and accessories, have now got in on the act of trying to equate their products with the recent London Olympics. They have this morning released their new range of wall fixing accessories un...
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Funny story:  Bolt puts success down to 'all those mushy peas' during Bradford childhood

Bolt puts success down to 'all those mushy peas' during Bradford childhood

While the bars stayed open late in Jamaica, after the 200m success of Usian Bolt and his team-mates last night, the fish and chip shops of Manningham was where the greatest celebration took place. It has been revealed that Bolt is yet another succ...
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Funny story:  The Dallas Cowboys To Sign Olympic Champion Usain Bolt, The Fastest Man In The World

The Dallas Cowboys To Sign Olympic Champion Usain Bolt, The Fastest Man In The World

DALLAS - Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones is so happy he was actually seen doing somersaults by several members of his Cowboy Stadium cleaning staff. Jones, who eats, sleeps, and drinks Cowboy blue spoke with Rufus Reno of Sports Balls Illustrated...
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Funny story:  Football Gossip & comments 7th August 2012

Football Gossip & comments 7th August 2012

Jack Sullivan, son of West Ham joint-chairman David, has said on Twitter that the club's interest in Liverpool striker Andy Carroll is over. (Daily Mirror) Mainly because Andy Carrolls interest in West Ham never began. Ravel Morrison, now on loan at Birmingham City, was flown home from West Ham's pre-season tour because he needed to have seven teeth removed. (Daily Mail) Don't they have den...
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Funny story:  My Week by Usain Bolt (as imagined by David Sapsted)

My Week by Usain Bolt (as imagined by David Sapsted)

SATURDAY, JULY 28: Absolutely exhausted! Had to carry the Jamaican flag halfway round the stadium at the Olympics opening ceremony last night. Never knew that travelling 200 metres could be so exhausting. Poked myself in the groin with the flag pole when I tried, unsuccessfully, to strike my Lightning Bolt pose, as requested by my Canadian sponsors, Lightning Rotors Inc. The Arctic Monkeys perform...
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Funny story:  Athletes to post on Facebook while they are competing

Athletes to post on Facebook while they are competing

In previous Olympic Games, it has always been the spectators who have come to watch (and photograph) the athletes and not the other way around. But while many London 2012 athletes were forced to stay in their rooms because the Opening Ceremony was pa...
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Funny story:  Olympic Legend wins gold in egg and spoon race

Olympic Legend wins gold in egg and spoon race

The pupils of an East London Primary School were treated to an awesome display of speed today as Usain Bolt easily won the egg and spoon race in their annual spots day. Bolt was expected to defend his 100 meter title at the Olympic Stadium but due a...
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Funny story:  Usain Bolt predicted to win the 100m Butterfly

Usain Bolt predicted to win the 100m Butterfly

Due to the heavy rain forecast for the London Olympics, changes are having to be made to some of the events. This has meant that Usain Bolt will no longer be competing in the hundred metre sprint, and will instead be competing in the hundred metre bu...
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Funny story:  Usain Bolt Promises To Run 100m In "Under 8 Seconds"

Usain Bolt Promises To Run 100m In "Under 8 Seconds"

World champion 100m sprinter Mr Usain Bolt has stated publicly that he believes he can smash his own 9.58-second world record to "smithereens" at next month's London 2012 Olympic Games, and that he fully intends to regain the title he won in Beijing...
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Funny story:  Media company apologises after Nazi van naming gaffe

Media company apologises after Nazi van naming gaffe

Red-faced Maiden Media have apologised after it emerged that they inadvertently named one of their fleet of technician's vans after a world war two Dutch Nazi. The vans cheekily bearing the name of famous stars of film, TV and music with 'Van' eit...
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Funny story:  Usain Bolt is beaten in the 100 metres by a woman

Usain Bolt is beaten in the 100 metres by a woman

The World's Fastest Man Usain Bolt still holds the title of the World's Fastest Man, but he can longer claim to be the world's fastest human. Naima Bilal from Nairobi has shaved three quarters of a second off his time. "We were amazed," said Afric...
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Funny story:  Usain Bolt false start overturned

Usain Bolt false start overturned

Under the new rules governing the one hundred metres sprint has left the world's fastest man demanding a recount. Usain Bolt fell victim to the one false start rule which meant after just one supposed false start by Bolt, he was disqualified, losi...
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Funny story:  Usain Bolt to play for Manchester City

Usain Bolt to play for Manchester City

The incredibly fast Jamaican sprinter and three-time World and Olympic gold medalist Usain Bolt has accepted a contract to play for Manchester City Football Club. Club manager Roberto Mancini said that the best way to beat Manchester United and ge...
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Funny story:  Usain Bolt Out For Rest Of Season With Penis Injury

Usain Bolt Out For Rest Of Season With Penis Injury

Olympic and world sprint champion Usain Bolt has been ruled out of competing for the rest of the 2010 season, after a doctor diagnosed a serious penis injury. The Jamaican's famous 'third leg', normally strapped to his leg with duct tape, could be...
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Funny story:  Usain Bolt Beaten By Gay

Usain Bolt Beaten By Gay

US sprinter Tyson Gay handed the World and Olympic champion Usain Bolt only his second professional 100m defeat as the American stormed to victory at the Diamond League meeting in Stockholm last night, but the victory was somewhat soured after it bec...
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Japan announces 416 new jobs

Japan has created 416 new jobs in Larne, County Antrim, (Northern Ireland, for you Yanks). "Someone has to make bedpans," Japanese PM Shinzo Abe said, "and Japanese just won't do that kind of work."

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