The number of whales beaching themselves on the shores of the UK has increased dramatically in recent years. The incidents are thought to be genuine suicide attempts by the whales, who may be following the latest "emo" cultural trend.
Whale psycho...
Satirical website, TheSpoof.com is reportedly considering the introduction of an all new forum slot dedicated exclusively to cyber-bullying and online flaming, although at this point, this has yet to be confirmed.
"What it is, right," Spoof ne'er...
Need you ask which color? For the present, it's programmed for pink of course! But that could change.
In the pink again after gallbladder surgery, PINK revealed to a Spoof reporter that she felt the need for a little treat. Hence this very spec...
TOKYO (SAPP) - After many years of international pressure to stop whaling, sources close to the prime minister of Japan, Yoshihiko Noda, have admitted that whaling has become a vital source of energy for the country. Members of Mr. Noda's inner circl...
Under considerable pressure to do something to lower gasoline prices, President Obama called a surprise news conference today to announce a change of direction in our national energy policy. With Secretary of Energy Dr. Stephen Chu standing at his side, Mr. Obama announced a major new renewable resource energy initiative. Following is a transcript of the conference,
Mr Obama: "Good afternoon...
The Japanese have requested of the International Whaling Commission (COW) to harvest three times as many whales in 2012 as they harvested in 2011, and hunt just short of two hundred and fifty whales.
"We've done a lot of research into just about e...
In an unusual display of solidarity for it's stricken protectors, a small gam of whales have formed a protective circle around the a stricken Sea Shepherd Conservation Society (SSCS) vessel. The MV Brigitte Bardot was hit by a rogue wave in the Sout...
Two of the big four High Street supermarket chains Asco and Tesda are to start selling the highly controversial Whale Milk. The other three of the big two, Sainssons and Morribury's are watching sales of Whale Milk with interest.
PETAL, the People...
Essex - Fears a stray whale or giant octopus may have swallowed a live 2,000lb (907kg) World War II mine were rife this afternoon.
The ageing rusty bomb 'vanished' just as Navy frogmen were winching it into position off the Clacton coast.
It ha...
My friend Shylock Humes stood before the fireplace in his smoking jacket. I shook my head. "Come away from the fire, Humes", I adjured. "I told you you would catch fire if you stood so close."
Before my friend could answer, the doorbell rang. To be more accurate, someone rang it. We did once try a self-ringing doorbell, which I had purchased from an ininerant self-ringing doorbell hawker, but w...
Authorities in Guangdong, China, today admitted that they have been unable to identify the 65 foot sea monster that washed up on a beach there a couple of days ago, but they have confirmed that it stinks to high heaven.
The creature, which vaguely...
Confusion surrounded the small market town of Ashby-de-la-douche last week as two men in blue overcoats attempted, and failed to deliver a 100 tonne blue whale to a Mr. Nobody.
All seemed well up until the point where they had to physically place...
My friend Shylock Humes looked at our remarkable visitor, Captain, or Professor, Goosefoundling - for it was indeed he - and spoke directly.
His voice was like the crowing of a cock on a summer morning in Norfolk, when the sun begins to burnish the enormous sky and the windmills glow like rare moonstones.
Fifteen minutes later, we had begun to tire of these farmyard impressions. My personal...
My friend Shylock Humes sat by the fireside in his favourite armchair, with his legs pulled up and his arms wrapped about his knees. He was coiled and taut, his head sunken into his gaunt shoulders. That recent training with contortionist Roberto the Rubberman of Bounder Brothers Circus was already paying off.
Humes was staring at our extraordinary visitor, Captain, or Professor, Goosefoundling...
Shylock Humes was curled up in his chair like a coiled serpent. Why on earth he chose to have a piece of furniture shaped like a snake I had no idea. But that was my friend all over. His things were always all over the place. He used to leave his papers, smoking accoutrements and clothing lying all over the sitting room. Clutter was his middle name. Actually, it was Horatio, after the famous Admir...
Western Isles Tourism 0fficer Donald MacDonald bemoaned the news that a pod of pilot whales ,previously stranded in a loch in South Uist, has started to head for open water.
The whales had been close to beaching in Loch Carnan after becoming diso...
BY SQUEAKY THE WHALE
Look, thanks. Firstly, just thank you. You really have gotten into gear to save my species, you humans. Stopping the Japanese fishermen, stopping people from skinning us. Thanks.
But, really... you're still killing us, unwittingly. It's great, letting us back into the wild.
My cousin, Larry, was in the Aqautic London Zoo. Airlifted to Alaska. Great place. One problem.
Numerous Pods of minke and sperm whales were spotted off the coast of Japan today, making loud spouting noises and squeals of excitement as they received updates about the ongoing Japanese disaster from Kelly, the equally excited one-legged seagull.
