ATLANTA, GA- After a long, six month research period it was discovered that conversate is not a word.
This study comes from 40 year old, Geoffrey Bentine, who while in a conversation with a friend said, "Can we conversate later?" In turn his frie...
William Marotta was going through the Craig's list wanted section when he happened upon a request from a lesbian couple for a sperm donation so they could conceive a child.
William being a good neighbor decided to rub one out, put his man juice in...
A feminist recently profiled in the media about her rare sexual condition that caused her to be continuously sexually aroused - swam away into the ocean from a beach in Florida because she couldn't find a man, the Tampa Bay News reported.
Sixty pe...
A man recently profiled in the media about his rare sexual disorder - a condition that caused him to be continuously sexually aroused - has been advised by experts to spend a few days in the US State of Georgia.
Graham Cooper, 39, has struggled wi...
The end of men is near
Listen up, men: the last US election proved very clearly that women aren't going to put up with any more bullshit from men. Not only are there more women than men voting nowadays; but more women are voting for what they want than for what we men want them to want.
I know I had a point to make, and that I have muddled it up, but you guys know what I mean already, w...
Men, do you have no idea what women are saying to you? Not a substantive clue what they really mean or feel? Well try Russ's new "Hologram White Caption Bubble" App for your smart phone. When your lady is speaking in that unintelligible language of h...
As a rule, I'm a fan of larger women, although I'm not a big fan (pun) of the term "Big Beautiful Women." And, from what I can tell, most curvy women don't particularly care to be desired for their size, at least not anytime I've told one of them, "I love big women!" We're talking buzz-kill, love-kill here, and maybe, man-kill as well.
A gal at work I'd been chatting up asked me why I was so...
DAYTON, Tennessee (ABSNN) - A female Dayton blogger, Rachel Held Evans, lived an entire year according to the rules laid out in the King James Version of the Bible. Among other biblical tenants she followed, she addressed her husband as "Master," an...
The running of the shrews
Every Wednesday the newspaper prints the local supermarket insert with all the coupons and "two-fers." If you are a man and you need groceries, don't go to the market on Wednesday. You will surely suffer a misadventure; you might even die!
I know that in this economy people are looking for ways to save a nickel. Coupon clipping adds a few pennies to the weekly fo...
I, a female married high school teacher, am awaiting divorce. I terribly miss my children as they are taken away by my husband, a Mickey-mouse-college professor. Having no place to live, I have moved to my mother's apartment. I live in an unmentionable oil-rich police-state country in Middle East. The so-called husband has the right to divorce me anytime anywhere with or without my consent. Of co...
Love/Hate relationships
I have mixed feelings about my feathered "friends." On the one hand, I spend over a thousand dollars a year on feeding, housing, and bathing songbirds, hummers, owls, hawks, waders, and, yes, vultures too.
I love watching birds throughout the year. Not only has my knowledge grown to the point where I can identify them by breed, but truly, I know some of them, indi...
I've been accused of being a grumpy old man; it is true, I am. Some folk, mostly shrinks, ask me why I am so grouchy all the time; is it nature or nurture?
I live for this question!
It is both in my nature to be grumpy, and my nurturing assures I shall never change. Seven European families make up the sum of my gene pool. It was pissed in, repeatedly, by the women who swam there.
Two...
"Don't cry, Mama, it will grow back in no time," Elderly Girl says, holding her ever-tinier old mother in her arms. God, that woman's tears can rip you to shreds. Elderly Girl does not enjoy having to be maternal. It gets in the way of her lust for drama.
As most of you are are aware, Elderly Girl had perhaps the most beautiful and celebrated hair on Earth. Even so, the urge to liberate hers...
As Elderly Girl has informed you dear women before, she insists on having her "time of the month," even though she has been post-menopausal for eons.To be honest, it is pretty much always her time of the month, and, to quote the great soul songstress Ella Fitzgerald, "It Ain't Nobody's Business But My Own."
She believes it is her biological prerogative to burst into tears, punch holes in wa...
The Pope has declared Original Sin forgiven upon hearing that a woman has menstruated Jesus. The woman in her thirties was routinely about to change her sanitary towel when she saw a face staring up from between her legs. Upon closer inspection the w...
In what may be the most thoughtful gesture of their 3-year relationship, Jake Harrington plans to leave his girlfriend Mary Rockmore a half-eaten bologna sandwich.
Harrington said the thoughtful act, which occurs after the two had a long argumen...
Washington DC - Aunt Jemima held a brief press conference today. She announced that she would no longer agree to be Gaston's pick for Vice President of the United States of America.
"I's no way gunna serve no pancakes with crappy aspartame syrup.
Liza Grey, State Representative for Michigan, was banned from speaking in the House of Representatives for saying the word "a***e" during a recent speech to the House.
The word was used as the anatomically correct way to describe the part of the...
