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Funny satire stories about nails

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Funny story:  Ordinary bloke ridiculed for growing his nails

Ordinary bloke ridiculed for growing his nails

For thirty-five years, Tony Hawton of Bridlington had been a nail biter. However, his wife of ten years had finally had enough and told him to stop. "I was quite shocked," said Hawton. "She said she was just fed up to the back teeth with my auto-c...
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Funny story:  Man With World's Longest 'Pinkie' Nail Puts it to Good Use

Man With World's Longest 'Pinkie' Nail Puts it to Good Use

Carson City, NV: It's been said that you can pick your friends and that you can pick your nose-- but that you can't pick your friend's nose. Charlie Shitter, Man with the World's Longest Pinkie Fingernail, begs to differ. Shitter, whose fingern...
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Funny story:  Nonagenarian New York DA Morgenthau nails Craigslist Rapist and 'demonic' assistant

Nonagenarian New York DA Morgenthau nails Craigslist Rapist and 'demonic' assistant

New York - (Sordid Ass Mess): He'll be 90 at the end of next month but he's still The Big Apple's top dog when it comes to screwing over the felons, deviants, nutters and perverts that sully the benches of the Manhattan State Supreme Court. And th...
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Funny story:  New Joint Invented

New Joint Invented

Timothy Burr, a cabinet maker from Nottingham, has invented a new form of woodworking joint. It is a straight cut interleaved joint between two flat pieces of wood, such as in the back corner of a drawer, but with an important addition. Whereas...
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Funny story:  Long nails a health hazard?

Long nails a health hazard?

Long red nails are a much sought after fashion accessory, but do you know where they have been?...
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Funny story:  Beauty Queen Breaks Nail - Gets Bombed

Beauty Queen Breaks Nail - Gets Bombed

2008 Miss East Coast winner, Kirsten Hagland, broke a nail yesterday while in the airport. So, she called her friend, who asked to remain anonymous, and started yelling about how she broke her nail.
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Funny story:  Olsen Twins Nailed following a case of Mistaken Identity

Olsen Twins Nailed following a case of Mistaken Identity

Las Angeles - Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen were celebrating the opening of a new Taco Bell by wearing sombreros, when they were mistaken for two nails and hammered into the drywall of a nearby construction site.
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Breaking News...

Tories Apologise To Mental Health Organisations Over Use Of Stigmatising Language

'Our activists should not be described as "mad, swivel-eyed loons",' said a spokesman, 'but rather as people with severe mental health problems who experience ocular complications.'

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