Written by Backandtotheleft

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Friday, 14 September 2012

image for Simon Cowell's Breakdown Fears
Is Simons empire falling down around him?

Simon Cowell has said that he will now take six weeks off a year to stop him from having another breakdown. The music mogul who owns property in the UK, the USA, France and half the moon is reported to have been under tremendous pressure from his work commitments.

It was said that Simon got so stressed last year that he began self harming. He tore up three five pound notes before he couldn't take the pain any longer. In the money hungry world of celebrity this was seen as a major cry for help. A insider who is close to Simon (we say "insider" we mean personal friend who is stabbing their buddy in the back for a couple of quid)

"Simon will spend six weeks relaxing and mentally preparing himself for the rigours of the forthcoming year. Simon will unplug from the mainstream and comfort himself in the knowledge he will only be making £1million a day rather than his usual £6mil"

Reports, at this time are unconfirmed, as to whether or not he does plan to spend time in a vat of blood of failed X-Factor contestants. It has been said that the blood of people with failed dreams does have rejuvenating properties.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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