Funny story: This Country's Gone to the Dogs Innit?

This Country's Gone to the Dogs Innit?

We have lost our bloody way as a nation we have. Our country has become infiltrated by joyless snobbish lefties, filthy immigrants, rampant homosexuals who are up for anything and miserable and fat feminists. What happened to the good old days innit? The good old days of Only Fools and Horses, Rolf Harris, Rod Stewart, The National Front, It It Ain't Half Hot Mum, New Faces, Jim'll Fix It, Dav...
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Weasel News Bigots Backtrack on Offensive "Reddit SJW" Accusations

Shona Grammy and Super Bill Frieli from Weasel News broke down in tears yesterday when they realized that the people they had been dismissing for years as "Whiney, crybaby Reddit SJWs" were actually people just like them. Shona Grammy sobbed, "All this time, I thought these people were, you know, like Obamabots or something, who had been planted as fake personas to bring socialism, pro-womanism...
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The Big Woop's Nefarious Plot to Undermine Capitalism

The national magazine sold exclusively by the homeless, Big Woop, has faced many damning criticisms in its time. Allegations abound of aggressive selling techniques which are harming the Universal Beltway Interest of Our Common Humanity and/or that of the Golden Pigsty (or, if you prefer, of the Houses of Perishing in Warminster). And you have you forgotten already about the millions of peo...
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Funny story: Theresa May: "We must Engage with the Moderate Homosexual Community"

Theresa May: "We must Engage with the Moderate Homosexual Community"

Apparently, because Theresa May is from the Conservative Party, she has the dispiriting responsibility of reluctantly assimilating individuals in a rather more blunt and crude way than Labour or Lib Dems. So she has sworn to "engage with the moderate homosexual community," in order to ensure that gay people do not cause any more "chaos, subversion and aesthetic terrorism." As a Conservative,...
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Funny story: News headlines from around the globe; shocking!

News headlines from around the globe; shocking!

OK Jaggedone's CIA (Cockroach Infiltration Army) fans all over the planet here's our daily round up of news shocking the planet in short! (This lot makes Russell Howard look like Andy Pandy!) A sick twat in Florida who had sex with a dolphin, yes a dolphin, claims the female dolphin 'wooed' him and he just could not resist! CIA judge, Peregrin Jaws-Greatwhite, has sentenced the pervert to swi...
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Queen Maxima of Holland divulges the truth!

Dutch HQ of Jaggedone's CIA global army... Exclusive interview with Queen Maxima of Holland! Our Dutch star scumbag scandal reporter, Johann Crutch van Amsterdamned has infiltrated the royal palace in The Hague and forced Queen Maxima to give the following interview; she hates bugs! "Queen Maxima how the fuck did you become queen of Holland" Queen Maxima: "I did 5 things and here th...
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London's Lonely Hearts

Grace Power - Tattoo Artist (35) Short haired lady with muscular build whose interests include pumping iron, spitting and football. Is looking for a professional and handsome business-like man. Murray Miller - Retired Factory Assistant (104) 4 ft 4 in height, decrepit, wrinkly and covered in moles and liver spots who enjoys waking up in the morning. Is seeking a woman who can take him to...
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Funny story: A rap from David Cameron

A rap from David Cameron

The following is a rap from Prime Minister, Conservitive Party leader and notorious hip-hop fan David Cameron that he wrote for us at the Spoof Musical Express with hope that he will open your eyes and get you interested in politics. Take it away David... Yo It's David C Telling you to vote for me The leader of the Tory party. I want you to let me stay And save the day Samant...
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Breaking News...

Scientists Discover Why men Cheat.

Scientists have discovered why so many men cheat on their partners: (1) Sex. (2) More sex. (3) More exciting sex.
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Funny story: Britain's 5 most controversial comedians revealed

Britain's 5 most controversial comedians revealed

5. Kelly Potter Kelly Potter was the first woman to ever appear on a british comedy panel show all the way back in 2006 when she made an appearance on Never Mind The Buzzcocks. Potter shocked viewers by talking about her private parts - you know like men do, but it's much more offensive because shes a woman, which is far more shocking for some reason. Her style of humour often led to as many as...
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Funny story: However do the get away with it? Ask the bankers!

However do the get away with it? Ask the bankers!

CIA (cockroach Infiltration Army) HQ deep down in the vaults of the Rothschild Bank, Geneva, Switzerland, has just relayed this astonishing news scoop overheard between Herr Rudolf Liechenstein-Hoeness (no relation) and a senior director of the scandalous tax-avoiding bank, you know the one! CIA star reporter, Willy-Untermensch-Goebbels, crept between the hand-made, shiny leather shoes of the 2...
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Funny story: Religion Drives Man Crazy

Religion Drives Man Crazy

On the evidence of the witness who inhabited the flat beneath the defendant's the judge had no hesitation but to refer the defendant for psychiatric evaluation. The charges of malicious damage to property and disturbing the peace were dropped on compassionate grounds. The judge had reached the decision after questioning the witness thoroughly and allowing his tape recording of the events leadi...
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Funny story: Look like Jordan burnt to a crisp under a sunbed, is it really worth it?

Look like Jordan burnt to a crisp under a sunbed, is it really worth it?

CIA HQ under a tanning bed in a wellness hotel somewhere in a posh part of London has just sent this life threatening report! Jaggedone's CIA star lifestyle reporter, Shaggy Daddy-Brownlegs, has crawled out of the gutter into a very posh wellness hotel and brown, white Caucasian x-treme tanner, Laura May McMullan, told him, whilst lying under the sun yet again, the following story. Well it a...
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Funny story: Yannis Varoufakis, the tieless Greek Finance Minister

Yannis Varoufakis, the tieless Greek Finance Minister

Here, at Vacuous Mag's Beauty Desk, we're more concerned with the Superficial, than the Real.....We asked Yannis Varoufakis, the newly elected Greek Finance Minister, about his motorbike, colour coordination and sex-life. Vacuous : Hi Yannis Yannis : Good afternoon V : You turned up to Downing St on a motorbike, shave head and leather jacket, with electric blue shirt....are you the...
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Funny story: Paxton on Paxton. How My Identity Was Stolen

Paxton on Paxton. How My Identity Was Stolen

We've all done it. Go on, admit it. It's not a crime. In a moment of vanity I Googled myself and there it was - 67,000 entries. My name all over the Internet. I was smug. Ha! My literary exploits have made me internationally famous, but then what was that? A website in my name? Bastard. Let's read it. "Paxton Quigley, a well-known author, firearms instructor and author, covers the why...
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Funny story: The Most Embarrassing Moments Ever

The Most Embarrassing Moments Ever

How many of these embarrassing moments have you experienced? 1. Being fired for "total incompetence" in front of all your colleagues. 2. Accidentally stumbling across your new bride screwing her ex-beau on a snooker table during your wedding reception while you were searching the hotel rooms for the surprise honeymoon gift you had been keeping for her for months; a whirlwind trip for two to...
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Funny story: Is the End of Storytelling the End of Humankind?

Is the End of Storytelling the End of Humankind?

A prominent member and spokesperson of the Trans-national Storytelling League has spoken out against all future planned governmental actions saying, 'I'm warning you, it will be the end of storytelling which is equivalent to saying, it will be the end of humankind.' Sufficiently aroused by his outburst, we sent in Simon Lingtorpe to interview Mr.Muse at his London home. S.L: Mr.Muse, which g...
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j.w.
j.w.
Joined: 04 June 2010
Stories Written: 841

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