Funny story: Salmond's Scotland For Independence

Salmond's Scotland For Independence

Mr Salmond found the time out of his busy schedule to speak to ace Spoof reporter FBI AL over questions he is messing with 'The Union' purely to get his name in the history books. "Well of course it's nothing to do with me getting my name in lights or in the history books as the man who tried or succeeded in making Scotland an independent nation," said Salmond, "and in no way am I laying the gr...
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Man Loses The Plot

Imagine walking through town. You have a beard. The beard sits on your face. You realise this and so turn to look into a shoppe window hoping to catch a glimpse of you with your beard. There it is you think, still there. Anyway after this you turn a corner (as corners are notoriously difficult to navigate if one keeps walking in the same direction) and all of a sudden you are confronted with a her...
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Doesn't that itch?

Vaginas. They have really stood the test of time and remain as popular today as they ever were. Possibly even more so and it's hardly surprising. Us guys don't have them, and the girls that do don't always want us to see them. This only adds to our fascination, and then we read ladies magazines and discover there are loads of different ways girls can embellish their vaginas! It's no wonder we're a...
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Funny story: Off your Facebook

Off your Facebook

I find it ridiculous to accuse the glorious and magnificent all-powerful Facebook being of manipulating my emotions. I was logged in for an hour this morning and found it very enlightening to rapidly assimilate the Cyrillic alphabet. Must reach Kremlin. If my emotions were manipulated surely I'd be ecstatic that England are out of the World Cup and I'm not. Mainly because they are still in it acco...
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Funny story: The life of a pound coin

The life of a pound coin

In the week when the British economy returns to pre-crisis levels, we take a look at the life of a pound coin during a single week, in an attempt to explain why the British economy manages to be so dynamic. Our coin's tale begins with George Osbourne, as he spends our taxes to buy a Revolting Peasants cocktail at Jolly Cedric's Wank-Bar For Toffs. 20% of the cost goes to the taxman, so at the p...
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A Short History Of Yorkshire Croquet

Yorkshire Savoury Croquet, popularised by John Prescott, is a game played on a large lawn. Equipment consists of long handled mallets, two sets of balls and some hoops pressed into the grass. It is quite hard to play when inebriated, but larger beer hoops are used in this instance. The croquet balls are made from a mixture of chopped, cooked bacon. small cheese cubes and mashed potato. Combine...
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Fred Jakes' World War One poetry to be celebrated

Perhaps the most famous of the poets of World War One, Fred Jakes, is to be celebrated in a special service in the Somme this weekend. Jakes died there just seconds after the 1918 ceasefire which signalled the end of the war, from a bullet wound he had sustained a few minutes earlier. Jakes was a serving private in the trenches of the Western Front, where he wrote many of his best poems. Many o...
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Funny story: Twenty Signs to tell you that you are Dead

Twenty Signs to tell you that you are Dead

1. You think 'your' thoughts are worse than anybody else's. You have not thought about where 'your' thoughts have come from. 2. You are scared the people you respect and who respect you may find out and abandon you. 3. Killing people is okay, you believe, and your favourite movies are all about heroes and the relentless murder they bring. 4. You think sex is love because that is what they...
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Funny story: The 5 Best Computer Games of the 80s

The 5 Best Computer Games of the 80s

In the early 1980s, computers were larger than TV sets and had less power than today's mobile phones, but they provided a unique new form of entertainment to a select group of lucky nerds. By the end of the decade, it was a multi-thousand pound industry which was beginning to mushroom into the video game entertainment juggernaut which sucks the life from so many souls daily today. We take a nostal...
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Funny story: Ryder Cup Congratulations

Ryder Cup Congratulations

Congratulations to the European team for winning the Ryder Cup at Gleneagles, Scotland. Yeah, right! The top players from several European nations played against the United States. Sure. As though the European countries didn't already outnumber the United States, the Scots must have had the golf course hot-wired for their European team. When you see a golf ball headed for the cow past...
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Funny story: A collection of Michael Owen's best tweets

A collection of Michael Owen's best tweets

Since joining Twitter the former football player and now commentator Michael Owen has shared his insights into life. Find below some of the nuggets of interest- It's Friday night! Think I might treat myself to a glass of water - I deserve it Good to see out of some of the football matches played today, several of them had winners. Football on later. Hopefully we'll see plenty of ball kic...
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Funny story: Channel 6 tonight

Channel 6 tonight

Here is the TV schedule for Channel 6 this evening. 4.00. Lesbian Racing From Ascot. 6.00. Jurassic Countdown Can the contestants solve the conundrum before a T-Rex devours Rachel Riley? 6.30. Come Dine With ME The four chronic fatigue sufferers try to have dinner together. Who will fall asleep first? 7.00. The Best Videos From the Internet Chris Moyles introduces a series of hilar...
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Funny story: The greatest World Cup footballers of all time

The greatest World Cup footballers of all time

To celebrate the World Cup in Brazil, we take a look back at some of the all time greats of football. Those players who have stood out from the crowd and made a real impact on the game. Here are TheSpoof's five best World Cup footballers of all time. 5. "Wee Eck" McSmith The diminutive Scottish centre forward was considered the best footballer in the world back in 1974, in the days when Scotla...
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Funny story: World Cup Live Commentary

World Cup Live Commentary

During the World Cup Finals, we've seen a lot of good matches, but none have been more exciting than Japan vs Greece. Here we are with live commentary from Barry Testes and Gary Ovum. Barry: Whether you like the Japanese game or you prefer it Greek style, we've got plenty on show for you tonight. You join us for the second half kick-off, the game currently standing at an exhilarating 0-0. And i...
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Funny story: Auntie Jean Advises I.S. Wallow From Upper Thong Whether Or Not To Come In Out Of The Rain

Auntie Jean Advises I.S. Wallow From Upper Thong Whether Or Not To Come In Out Of The Rain

I. S. Wallow Asks: Dear Auntie Jean, I am sitting in my best clothes in wet mud in a torrential downpour in the garden. Normally despite being an otherwise intelligent human being, I ask my mother whether or not to come in out of the rain. My mother tells me I have no common sense. I have a horrific cough and what seems to be pneumonia. My mother is not speaking to me so will not tell me ei...
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Funny story: A party political poem on behalf of the Neanderthal Independence Party

A party political poem on behalf of the Neanderthal Independence Party

We in the Neanderthal Independence Party (NIP) feel threatened by Homo Sapiens They may cause our lives not to have happy ends The Neanderthal Independence Party says we are culturally unique Though we're a little low-brow and evolutionarily weak We have more grass roots support than Neanderthal Labour And we'll try to reduce casual sex with our neighbours The Neanderthal Health Servic...
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Jeff Brone
Jeff Brone
Joined: 21 September 2007
Stories Written: 140

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