New York, NY-- Google Earth has discovered the mythical River Styx, but don't look for it on their website. Everyone who had anything to do with its discovery is already dead. Managers at Google Earth have decided to keep the information secret 'for public safety'.
The ancient Greeks believed that the River Styx carried souls into the land of the dead. Its black waters were to be avoided at all costs. Its location was always unknown and believed to be a myth--until yesterday.
Dr. Sharon Ferryman is credited with discovering the River Styx. The 35 year-old scientist was downloading information from the Landsat satellite when she noticed something unusual, and e-mailed the information to an assistant. No one really knows what happened next. Dr. Ferryman suddenly stopped breathing and she died before the paramedics arrived.
Dr. Ferryman's assistant at Google Earth was Persephone Orpheus, aged 25. Ms. Orpheus looked at the e-mail from Dr. Ferryman and shouted to her co-workers:
"Hey everyone! Looks like we just discovered the River Styx!" said Ms. Orpheus just before she suffered a massive heart attack and dropped dead.
Ten of Ms. Orpheus' co-workers viewed the information about the River Styx. All of them immediately went into respiratory failure and began to die. Only one co-worker was able to explain where the River Styx was located before she too expired:
"I know where the River Styx is, but you might not like the answer." said Cassandra Homer right before she died. "The River Styx is right behind your computer screen. The waters of the River Styx are lapping at your feet. Breezes from the River Styx are blowing past you right now. Life is shorter than you think."