Written by Ellis Ian Fields
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Wednesday, 29 August 2012

image for International Superstars Line Up For Stricken Pompey!
Not thought to be on Mr Seaport's list.

Cristiano Ronaldo, Lionel Messi, Carlos Tevez, Juan Mata... a team line-up to die for?

Well it seems fans of stricken Portsmouth, will soon be on life support as some of the greatest names in the game sign up to help the club out of its difficulties.

And it's all thanks to the new-found sporting spirit engendered by the London Olympics.

These high-paid superstars have agreed to turn out in the famous Pompey blue for free in between fixtures for the Real Madrids and Barcelonas in a bid to help the club out of its current woes.

Currently, manager Michael Appleton is juggling just 17 players in his bid to at least preserve the club's Division One status - a job that will be made nearly impossible by the deduction of 10 points once a new owner has taken over.

The brains behind the scheme is superfan Jake Seaport, 45, of North End.

He told us: "S'roight moosh! I jes' gets on the phone to vese superstar mooshes, ah do's, an' tells 'em just how bad fings is dayn Pompey.

"Well of course they've all got fond memories of their visits to Fratton Park an' ah' sez 'did you see all that Olympic spirit? How abayt bringin' some o'vat dayn ter Pompey to help ayt?' An' vey all sez all roight - jes' loik vat!

"'S gonna be triffic! Messi and Ronaldo dayn ve Park! We'll soon be back where we belong."

Spokesmen for the players or their clubs were unavailable.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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