Funny story: Harrods Customers argue over 'Italianish' Products

Harrods Customers argue over 'Italianish' Products

Italian Artisan Products such as Proscuitto, Prosecco and Parmigiano Stuff are always in demand , amongst the 'Cognoscenti' of sophisticated Retail. However, a little knowledge is a dangerous thing and nowhere more so than in a recent Boxing Day f...
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Being sober now classed as legitimate fundraising event

The act of not drinking for 31 days has now been officially recognised as the most gruelling charity sponsorship activity in the world today, it has emerged. Emma Thorpe, spokesman for the 'Stoptober' movement said "It used to be enough to train r...
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Osborne To Save Money By Issuing Discount Rail Tickets To One Remaining Central Hospital

To plunder even more of the country's assets to try to reach Thatcher scale carnage, George Osborne is to sell off all hospitals but one and issue rail discounts to sick people. The "savings" will enable stockbroker belt voters to pay less tax an...
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Funny story: Government To Re-Structure Pornography Industry

Government To Re-Structure Pornography Industry

A Government enquiry into the pornography industry has found it to be "top heavy". After the next election, changes will be made to cut out the waste and streamline the whole British Industry in line with Las Vegas and Russia. Implants will have to b...
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Funny story: Foul Porridge Flavour 2015 Competition Winner

Foul Porridge Flavour 2015 Competition Winner

In a dramatic finish, broadcast live on STV, a concoction of coarse oatmeal and mashed swede was awarded first prize in the Foul Porridge Of The Year 2015 Competition by the panel of Master Cook. The vile Scottish dish, submitted by food chemist a...
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Jesus - I Don't Want Any More Sunbeams

Jesus has appealed to people not to try to be sunbeams, as he is snowed under with them. "He told our religious affairs journalist, "I don't know who wrote that fucking 'Jesus wants me for a sunbeam' song but since the financial crashes I've a millio...
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Miliband Denies "Interview" Techniques

Labour leader, Ed Miliband, has strenously denied attempting to court positive publicity after announcing that his latest Party Political Broadcast had been "hacked by North Korean hackers off the internet using computers". Unlike other high profi...
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Funny story: UKIP to become a religion

UKIP to become a religion

Oddball anti-European vote-rigging outfit UKIP have announced that as of next Monday, they will no longer be just a political party. They have registered to become an official religion in the UK as well. The group will still stand in the upcoming...
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Breaking News...

ISIS stop beheading!

Relieving news is reaching us from Iraq, ISIS have vowed not to behead anybody anymore, therefore they will kidnap babies and spike them on their bayonets; lovely bunch!
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Funny story: 'Dome' to keep out 'foreign weather' - UKIP

'Dome' to keep out 'foreign weather' - UKIP

Nigel Garage, leader of the UKIPs, has launched a new policy offensive to counter the threat posed by a rampant Green Party in the UK. If elected, the UKIPs have confirmed that they will erected a dome over the UK which will ensure that no 'foreig...
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Funny story: Over 98% Of Non-UK People Are Foreign - Daily Mail

Over 98% Of Non-UK People Are Foreign - Daily Mail

The results of a survey of people carried out in over 50 countries show that over 98% of them are 'foreigners'. The Daily Mail allegedly stated that this is the way things are going and soon there could be even more foreigners abroad. The Daily Expre...
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Funny story: Prince Andrew and Sarah Ferguson to Remarry For the Children

Prince Andrew and Sarah Ferguson to Remarry For the Children

London, England-Tired of living in squalid, back street non-Royal quarters, Sarah Ferguson got back in touch with her ex-husband Prince Andrew. She had been hearing that he had been confined to squalid back street palaces since their divorce, Fergie...
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Funny story: 'Permanent Special Anti-University Student Response Unit' to be set up

'Permanent Special Anti-University Student Response Unit' to be set up

Following the Multi - Police Officer tazering of demonstrating students at Warwick University, last week, a new, permanent Response Unit, tackling Third Level Undergraduates only, is to be set up. 'The ''Intelligentsia'', contrary to what one migh...
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Funny story: Office Christmas party goes downhill fast after hot girl in accounts leaves early

Office Christmas party goes downhill fast after hot girl in accounts leaves early

Employees at McLellans Systems Ltd reported a dive in morale at this years Christmas party when the company's "hot girl in accounts" left at 7.30pm. "Before then the party was in full swing and many of the guys in the company were happy and chatt...
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Funny story: Major Stores Reach Agreement On Cathedral And Church Use

Major Stores Reach Agreement On Cathedral And Church Use

Several well known stores with high profile T.V. Christmas advertisements have reached agreement with bishops in the U.K. to utilise the huge amounts of prime City Centre Cathedral and Church interior and exterior space. Worshippers will be able to...
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Funny story: Sony hack forces thousands of children outside over Christmas

Sony hack forces thousands of children outside over Christmas

Thousands of Children were forced to play outside or entertain them selves with board games after the massive hack that left gamers unable to connect to the internet on Christmas day. The Hack resulted in gangs of feral children leaving their bedr...
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Funny story: Santa's coming to town

Santa's coming to town

Furious upper-class families have blasted a Laurence Llewelyn-Ballsack giant 'Magical Inner Journey' grotto as it shut after one day amid claims Santa was a boozy, fornicating bastard, elves participated in a yuletide orgy and swore at sobbing kids!...
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Jaggedone
Joined: 08 April 2009
Stories Written: 1,298

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