Funny story: Premier League Deny Writing Own Scripts

Premier League Deny Writing Own Scripts

English Premier League Chief Executive Richard Scudamore has came out today to strongly deny claims that the organisation have been employing Hollywood directors to script the outcome of matches. Following yesterday's incredible drama where Chelse...
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A right Royal Carry on!

The news that Kate Middleton is up the duff again has come as a major surprise to the Royal household, especially Liz and Phil, the latter swearing fucking blind that he was nowhere near Kate's bedroom when she was on heat! Liz is particularly pis...
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Obese patient sues doctor for "inappropriate" weight comment

A doctor in Carlisle is being taken to court by one of his patients. During a meeting with a Dr Yimenez about his upcoming stomach-stapling surgery, the patient observed that the doctor had made one or two inappropriate comments about his weight.
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Funny story: Evil Hamsters Blamed for Spread of Ebola Virus

Evil Hamsters Blamed for Spread of Ebola Virus

A spokesman for the pro human pressure group "Kill All the Bastard Hamsters Brigade" (KABHB) has claimed that much like its brother rodent, the Chinese rat, the common hamster is responsible for the spread of a deadly epidemic that looks set to be...
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Funny story: Prince Charles Is The King Of The Mole People

Prince Charles Is The King Of The Mole People

We at Back and to the Left news were going through some rich peoples rubbish (in an attempt to find priceless Faberge eggs that may have been discarded) when we came across a document. This sort of thing happens quite regularly to us so we didn't thi...
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British Ebola victim wakes from coma 28 days later

A British man who contracted Ebola while on a pirates holiday in sierra Leone has recovered from his coma after twenty eight days. Alfred Smith a retired bus conductor said he feels fine after his month of unconsciousness although not technically a m...
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Scottish Independence - What Will Happen To Empty Bank Premises?

Any Bank Buildings vacated by nervous banks after a "Yes" vote could be used to house low risk savings companies willing to lend money to small businesses. The companies will have to use people's savings to generate money and to lend money out polite...
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Funny story: Husband Turns Central Heating Up in October

Husband Turns Central Heating Up in October

A terrified housewife called 999 after her husband turned the central heating up to 28 degrees. Demanding to have him sectioned under the Mental Health Act, Mrs. Beryl Coldwell of Scunthorpe who was found hiding in the attic wrapped in a blanket, bra...
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Breaking News...

Sweden Abandons Search For Russian Submarine

'We won this round,' said Russian President, Vladimir Putin. 'Now Sweden must hide a sub in Russian territorial waters. We are already covering our eyes and counting.'
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Funny story: Study finds homeless people took home £3 million in bonuses last year

Study finds homeless people took home £3 million in bonuses last year

Research has found that many of the UK's homeless people are more well-off than previously thought. Despite collecting just pennies in their day job filling our streets, some them took home as much as £3 million in their end of year bonuses. "Man...
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Funny story: Scottish Money Amnesty - Notes Can Be Exchanged At Banks from Tomorrow

Scottish Money Amnesty - Notes Can Be Exchanged At Banks from Tomorrow

Scottish £5 £10 and £50 notes no longer required after the failed Independence bid may be handed in or posted to banks for free exchange for real money, a spokesperson for the Exchequer said this morning. The notes, notoriously difficult to purch...
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Funny story: Central Reservations On M25 To Become Picnic Areas

Central Reservations On M25 To Become Picnic Areas

A plan to boost picnic areas was unveiled today by the British Government's Tourist Development Authority. Widened areas of busy central reservations are to have picnic benches and litter bins to cater for the growing number of impromptu roadside pic...
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Funny story: Plan To Celebrate Scottish Independence By Putting Midget On The Moon Backfires

Plan To Celebrate Scottish Independence By Putting Midget On The Moon Backfires

A surprise plan to celebrate Scottish Independence by putting the female half of The Krankies on the moon backfired yesterday when it was realised that the intention had been to put the proposed Scottish Emblem, a swarm of midges, not midgets there.
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Funny story: Scotland Will No Longer Be Game Shooting Theme Park After Independence - Claim

Scotland Will No Longer Be Game Shooting Theme Park After Independence - Claim

Scotland will cease to be just somewhere that Prince Philip and The Queen slaughter game in, a Scottish Nationalist claimed while addressing a meeting of the Conservative party in Glasgow. "We are probably going to revert to using the forests and moo...
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Funny story: Scotland YES prediction boost for Tories

Scotland YES prediction boost for Tories

The prediction, based on the latest opinion poll, that Scotland will opt for Independence has given a huge boost to Tory morale. Whilst wringing of hands at the terrible outcome, secretly the Tories are celebrating the success of their plan. Da...
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Funny story: The Secret of Stonehenge Finally Explained

The Secret of Stonehenge Finally Explained

Long-time Stonehenge researcher and aficionado Archy Ollie Geist for years has been obsessed with getting at the true meaning of the ancient, mysterious site on the Salisbury Plain. Recent renewed ground radar analysis has brought to light previ...
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Funny story: Scientists in Ebola Virus Questionnaire Doesn't Go Far Enough Claim

Scientists in Ebola Virus Questionnaire Doesn't Go Far Enough Claim

Outraged medics have slammed Government claims to be screening new arrivals to the United Kingdom for Ebola Virus with seemingly pointless questionnaires about their grooming habits. The controversial form is being issued by Customs and Excise staff...
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P Turton
P Turton
Joined: 01 July 2003
Stories Written: 10

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