Funny story: A right Royal Carry on!

A right Royal Carry on!

The news that Kate Middleton is up the duff again has come as a major surprise to the Royal household, especially Liz and Phil, the latter swearing fucking blind that he was nowhere near Kate's bedroom when she was on heat! Liz is particularly pis...
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Blair named GCHQ Philanthropisst of the Year

London - Tony Blair has been honored with GCHQ's top gong after giving away billions of other people's $$$ to his charitable self publicity machine. The annual award is run by the Brits' GCHQ national surveillance agency, an organ renowned for kee...
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British Gurkha's ask government to provide them with girlfriends

British Gurkha's are to ask the government for a girlfriend each so that when they marry they can then retire in the UK. Gurkha's history to the British Crown goes back as far as 1815, but recently have felt that they are missing out because they...
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Funny story: Richard III - From a Jack to a King

Richard III - From a Jack to a King

According to two underworked Professors from the University of Leicester Richard the Third was not, as previous thought, run over by a Honda Civic driven by a myopic pensioner in a Leicester car park. Professors Jack Haas and Anne Teake having sp...
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Funny story: Purring Queen Raises More Questions Than Answers

Purring Queen Raises More Questions Than Answers

Reports that claim The Queen "purred" when David Cameron told her about Scotland's rejection of independence, have raised more questions than answers and have the British public demanding to know what sort of woman their Queen really is. The pri...
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Doctor's Puddle Drama

A doctor almost drowned in what was described as a 'freak puddle' in Gloucester. Dr Mesut Foster was visiting the city on Tuesday when he stepped into the puddle, which was said to have been caused by a burst water main. An eye-witness said 'I sa...
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Hadrian's Wall To be Re-Built In Attempt To Keep Starving Scottish Out Of England If They Go It Alone

The British government has begun drawing up secret plans to rebuild Hadrian's Wall - the wall built by the Roman's to keep marauding Scot's out of England - to prevent starving undocumented Scottish people from entering England. If Scotland's vote...
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Funny story: Liverpool Tourist Office To Sell Fake "Car Wheels Missing" Wheel Covers To Fool Thieves

Liverpool Tourist Office To Sell Fake "Car Wheels Missing" Wheel Covers To Fool Thieves

Realistic cardboard images of a wheel on bricks are being sold as wheel covers at Liverpool Tourist Centres from today. The officer for tourism, Mrs. Morris-Minor told our Inner City Travel Correspondent, "Every time someone parks up for a few minute...
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Breaking News...

Ed Miliband voted Honorary Chairman of the Nodderist Society

The annual convocation of Nodderists unanimously elected Miliband as their Honorary Chairman. Nodderists champion those moments when you can't remember what comes next, so Edster was uncontested.
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Funny story: Premier League Deny Writing Own Scripts

Premier League Deny Writing Own Scripts

English Premier League Chief Executive Richard Scudamore has came out today to strongly deny claims that the organisation have been employing Hollywood directors to script the outcome of matches. Following yesterday's incredible drama where Chelse...
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Funny story: Yes, Scotland Has No Bananas

Yes, Scotland Has No Bananas

Yes, Scotland has No bananas: 55% No bananas. As Katherine Hepburn once said about Fred Astaire, "Ginger Rogers made Fred more masculine." Like Ginger, Scotland made England more masculine. And as former Governor of Texas Ann Richards once pointed ou...
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Funny story: Pretentious Scientists Deny Existence of Tangle Fairy: Roadies Outraged, Archbishop Conciliatory

Pretentious Scientists Deny Existence of Tangle Fairy: Roadies Outraged, Archbishop Conciliatory

Distraught and tear-stricken roadies have never doubted the existence of the wicked imp that tangles perfectly-laid guitar and sound cables when rock bands are touring. It's always a disappointment to find your immaculately-placed equipment all messe...
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Funny story: Academics Confirm Scottish Shortbread Reserves Higher Than Westminster Predicts

Academics Confirm Scottish Shortbread Reserves Higher Than Westminster Predicts

A projection by industry body Biscuits UK that 24bn boxes of shortbread can be extracted from the North Sea is "plausible", two academics have said. The projection has been used by the Scottish government as part of its campaign for independence.Last...
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Funny story: Kate Middleton's cocaine dealer uncle is supermarket's Mr Bombastic

Kate Middleton's cocaine dealer uncle is supermarket's Mr Bombastic

London - Gary Goldsmith has a new line of work after securing a contract channeling national supermarket's Mr Bombastic. A series of naff TV ads promoting the price cutting supermarket features the 69 year-old as a savvy pot-bellied gnome outsmar...
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Funny story: David Cameron's Police State Britain

David Cameron's Police State Britain

10 Downing Street, LONDON: Over the past few days while jolly old Dave has been surfing, taking plenty of holidays, eating ice cream, there has been increasing Press reports of FEARS about security. Dave Cameron, a puppet for the New World Order,...
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Funny story: Scotland YES prediction boost for Tories

Scotland YES prediction boost for Tories

The prediction, based on the latest opinion poll, that Scotland will opt for Independence has given a huge boost to Tory morale. Whilst wringing of hands at the terrible outcome, secretly the Tories are celebrating the success of their plan. Da...
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Funny story: Riot Ensues After 16 Solicitors Witness Train Wreck

Riot Ensues After 16 Solicitors Witness Train Wreck

London, ENG. It was a feeding frenzy in London at the scene of an actual train wreck which happened in the vicinity of a popular solicitor watering hole. All of the solicitors swarmed upon the injured passengers, in some cases preventing first res...
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K.C. Bell
K.C. Bell
Joined: 27 June 2004
Stories Written: 248

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