Funny story: Ban On Bank Holiday Sofa TV Ads

Ban On Bank Holiday Sofa TV Ads

Opposition parties have reputedly held meetings with media watchdogs with a view to banning pointless Bank Holiday sofa advertisements on television. T.V. audiences have long been confused by the bombardment of channels with advertisements for sofas...
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"Seal our borders" - illegal immigrant in Paddington

UKIP, right wing Tories and red-top tabloids have all today condemned the entrance of an illegal immigrant into Paddington. The suspect believed to be named as Paddington Bear was taken in my a suburban family believed to be known as 'The Browns' and...
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Official - Wanking Not A Cause Of Blindness!

A Medical Journal has published sensational clinical trial results proving that continuous wanking is not a cause of blindness. The results, published in "Better Lancit" contradicted what was commonly believed to be the truth. In the controlled e...
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Funny story: Shop A Celebrity Campaign Offers £10,000 As T.V. Trials Dry Up

Shop A Celebrity Campaign Offers £10,000 As T.V. Trials Dry Up

Major media companies have offered huge inducements to fill the gap left by trial reporting on T.V. as next week sees the end of yet another celebrity ordeal. Rumours of rewards such as £10,000 in Woolworths vouchers and free video hires for a year f...
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Funny story: Maverick RAF Cock Drawing Pilot shows some bollocks this time!

Maverick RAF Cock Drawing Pilot shows some bollocks this time!

RAF Lossiemouth confirmed to the The Daily Nettle today, that one of their most daring pilots, Flight Lootenant Wing Commander Flight Captain Viceroy Gordon 'Goose' Maverick, has been carpeted by station big-wigs for the second time in a week, after...
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Rosetta Stoned Shock

Peace probe Rosetta, Sweet Rosetta, is stoned. Georgie Fame commented 'Well, well, well' and scientists are on a high. But the news coming in from the floating lady in the sky tells us that in the beginning was weak gravity. Hardly surprising that...
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New warning to Scotland's parents - shock 'substance' abuse heads north

Health Scotland, Police Scotland and Mars Confectionery issued a joint warning to Scotland's parents and teenagers last night as fears grow around a new substance abuse crisis sweeping large areas of the central belt in Scotland. Teens and pasty face...
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Funny story: New National Sperm Bank "ATM" Machine Proposal

New National Sperm Bank "ATM" Machine Proposal

The new National Sperm Bank in Birmingham is to have "night deposit boxes" and sperm withdrawal A.T.M machines like any other bank, a spokesperson for the N.S.B told our sperm welfare staff this morning. Nasty letters will be sent out to customer...
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Breaking News...

Christmas Truce will feature football

Football Clubs all over England will stop the inaction and boredom of a typical match and devote 20 mins to the game actually being played. Dec 2014
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Funny story: Britons Vote Out Prince Charles as Next King

Britons Vote Out Prince Charles as Next King

London, England In a strongly anticipated move, the entire British Commonwealth voted to bypass Prince Charles in favor of his son, Prince William. "Charles is just so stodgy, he will have the whole British Empire asleep before he is even half-way...
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Funny story: In it to win it!

In it to win it!

Jails have been forced to install stairlifts to cope with rocketing numbers of pensioner prisoners since the Tories came to power it has been announced. At least 8,987 over 65's were arrested in 2013 up 34 per cent on 2009. Prison chiefs have also ha...
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Funny story: Government Approves Adding Chemicals to Scottish Water Supplies

Government Approves Adding Chemicals to Scottish Water Supplies

The systematic addition of chemicals to Scottish water supplies is to resume to keep rebellion levels down. Additional chemical dosing will continue in keeping with pre-referendum Westminster policy, effectively maintaining a docile disposition in th...
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Funny story: Sarah Ferguson and Sarah Palin to Co-Host New Comedy Show

Sarah Ferguson and Sarah Palin to Co-Host New Comedy Show

London, England-Former Duchess of York Sarah Ferguson, and failed U.S. Vice-Presidential candidate Sarah Palin, announced today that they would be co-hosting a serious documentary news show highlighting the roles of strong and powerful women of today...
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Funny story: "Offended" Woman to Sue

"Offended" Woman to Sue

A 23 year old London woman is to sue British Rail for what she claims is "personal trauma". It seems the woman boarded a subway train on the Bakerloo line on her way home from work. Then a couple of young men seated opposite her made what she cal...
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Funny story: Councillor Resigns Over "Parasites" Tweet

Councillor Resigns Over "Parasites" Tweet

A late night tweet by Dr. Bernard-Fortesque-SmallPeace of the Council for the Rehabilitation of Bloodsucking Creatures, labelling tapeworms as good for nothing parasites has upset the Society for for symbiotic organism equality. Dr. Fortescue-S...
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Funny story: UKIP triumph in Rochester & Screwed

UKIP triumph in Rochester & Screwed

Kent - A British far-tight party has swept to orifice in a K*nt by-election won by some turncoat ex-Tory twat. Mark Feckless, 69, won the Rochester and Screwed by-election by 2,920 votes after coming second in a previous Pole. Uh, poll. UK Prim...
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Funny story: I'm long, long, long gone.

I'm long, long, long gone.

Police have issued details regarding the decomposed body of an elderly man who was recently discovered in a Tesco car park in Romford, Essex, where they say he may have lain dead for many, many years or more! Officers found the badly decomposed bo...
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Dalekbuster523
Dalekbuster523
Joined: 27 November 2010
Stories Written: 8

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